Commentary
COMMENTARY: Elderly Abuse
NASHVILLE PRIDE — We all must acknowledge that if we are fortunate, we will live a long and productive life and hopefully be taken care of in our old age with the overseeing of our children or closely related family members. In an idealistic world, you would think that the children or family members of elders convalescing or bedridden would prioritize the treatment and care of their loved ones
By William T. Robison Jr.
We all must acknowledge that if we are fortunate, we will live a long and productive life and hopefully be taken care of in our old age with the overseeing of our children or closely related family members. In an idealistic world, you would think that the children or family members of elders convalescing or bedridden would prioritize the treatment and care of their loved ones.
It shouldn’t be questionable that convalescing elders receive the best medical attention or assistance as possible. Of course, there are factors that may limit the type or quality of assistance or care an elderly one may receive based on their economical status, basically as it relates to insurance coverage and their financial standing. When all is said and done, many elderly adults fall victim to bureaucratic red tape and sometimes to unlikely family members taking advantage of their fragile and often debilitating condition.
Make no mistake, while most people have their parents’ or loved one’s best interest at heart, there are some family members who may possess ulterior motives, compromising or falling short of providing the best care that their parents or loved ones may deserve. In fact, you would be surprised at the number of families who seek litigation towards a sibling for abusing a parent by manipulating and abusing the parents’ finances (stealing).
There are loving children agonizing and feeling extremely guilty at their inability to spend more time with their ailing elders. This problem is only exacerbated when your location, job, and finances may make it impossible or taxing concerning the amount of time you can personally spend with your ailing loved one. This is especially problematic when you have no sibling or close relative to aide you in planning and providing for the care of an ailing or bed ridden parent.
Big families often share with the care of a parent or are often fortunate enough to have a sibling in a position to give around the clock care with the help or aide of available home care services. This can be a blessing or a setup for chaos. Either you have dedicated, loving sibling providers—or providers seeking to take advantage of the physical and financial condition of the elder.
Elderly abuse can take place in convalescing or nursing homes by overworked or uncaring employees, especially if the family is not cognizant of the daily progress of their loved ones. This is prevalent with elders whose children or families are in other cities or states. But what may be more alarming is a sibling from a large family taking care of a parent and using that position of authority to intentionally ostracize the other siblings from the parent. This occurs when the parent is told the other family members don’t care about them, i.e., they would visit more if they did—or that if it weren’t for them, the parent would be relegated to a nursing facility. This ‘I’m the only one that care about you’ is often a calculated manipulation by a self-serving caretaker with ulterior motives.
Constantly pressuring the parent concerning what is done as the primary caretaker and what your sibling/siblings or other family members aren’t doing is a modus operandi towards putting oneself into a position to gain control of the parent’s favor and finances (bank account, property, or etc.). By the time some family members find out what is truly taking place, the caretaker has significantly used the elder’s monies from their bank account and may have even manipulated the elder into changing their will, making a calculating caretaker the conservator of their will.
There are some cases where a deceitful caretaker or a family member is so treacherous and callous that they may deny the ailing elder critical medical attention (not taking them to the hospital), precipitating their death (presumably) out of greed. Sad as it may be, there are some people who feel that some people take too long to die.
We must be more aware of the mental and physical abuse taking place by supposedly trusted and reliable health care providers, especially among family members. This abuse is criminal and needs to be reported and investigated when suspected. It may consist of not taking care of the patient’s medical and physical needs, making sure they receive their meds, are clean, fed, physically and mentally stimulated, and changed when needed. Another sign of abuse is when a caretaker takes advantage of a disabled elder when the elder is in a sedated, confused, or comatose state, having him or her sign or convert things over to benefit the caretaker or a designated individual.
Often, we wait until to it is too late to truly address suspected abuses because we don’t want to believe that those caring for our loved ones are capable of such treacherous and malicious actions often fueled by greed. The allegations or proof of elderly abuse especially by a sibling have isolated or destroyed the closeness of many families. Elderly abuse is more prevalent than we realize.
We must remember that those we love will eventually grow old and probably reach a point where they need our supervision and guidance in providing them the proper care and love that they gave us while growing up. It’s never too early to plan for taking care of the ones you love when they are no longer able to provide for themselves. Vigilant overseeing of their care and progress should be a priority. The family as a whole must also be cognizant of the handling of their debilitated loves one’s finances, for it is paramount to avoiding abuse by others you wouldn’t ordinarily suspect.
A truly loving caretaker is a blessing from God. I cannot thank my brother, Marcus, enough for dedicating his life to making sure my mother wanted for nothing during her extended illness leading to her transition.
This article originally appeared in the Nashville Pride.
Activism
Oakland Post: Week of January 8 – 14, 2025
The printed Weekly Edition of the Oakland Post: Week of January 8 – 14, 2025
To enlarge your view of this issue, use the slider, magnifying glass icon or full page icon in the lower right corner of the browser window.
Activism
Barbara Lee Launches Campaign for Mayor of Oakland
“At this critical moment, we must not be a city divided, but a community united,” she Lee. “If elected I will bring my hands-on leadership, new ideas and decades of experience in identifying billions in resources for our great city, so all residents and businesses are stronger and safer and our community has optimism and confidence in Oakland’s future.”
By Post Staff
Barbara Lee on Wednesday morning formally announced her candidacy for Mayor in Oakland’s April 15 special election.
“Time and time again, Oaklanders have faced our toughest obstacles by uniting to meet our challenges,” said Lee.
“At this critical moment, we must not be a city divided but a community united,” she said. “If elected, I will bring my hands-on leadership, new ideas, and decades of experience in identifying billions in resources for our great city so all residents and businesses are stronger and safer and our community has optimism and confidence in Oakland’s future.”
“As Mayor, I’ll address our homelessness crisis, prioritize comprehensive public safety and mental health services, and lead with fiscal responsibility to deliver the core City services residents and business owners deserve. Let’s do this – together.”
“I’ve never shied away from a challenge,” said Lee. “I’m always ready to fight for Oakland.”
Watch her campaign video here, which is online at BarbaraLee4Oakland.com
Activism
Who Wants to Be the Next Elected Mayor of Oakland?
The Oakland Post is issuing a CALL to all candidates to present their answers, plans, or solutions in response to our list of questions.
By Paul Cobb
Many of you probably recall the oft-repeated expression when describing leadership that “many are called but few are chosen.” We will be inundated during January with many claims of qualifications by those who want to lead Oakland.
As of Jan. 1, 2025, we have heard the names of 14 potential candidates who might become Oakland’s next Mayor.
The Oakland Post is issuing a CALL to all candidates to present their answers, plans, or solutions in response to our list of questions.
Any candidate who wishes to receive a free announcement, publicity or space in the paper must submit solutions.
- The first questions we propose are 1) What is your budget balancing plan?
- What is your position on requiring all city employees to work full-time in their designated offices rather than remotely from their homes?
- What is your plan to provide open-access opportunities to all police officers for overtime pay?
- Since many businesses, especially downtown, have closed, what is your plan to attract and increase revenues?
Please send your submissions of 300 words or less to each question to Social@postnewsgroup.com or visit www.postnewsgroup.com
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