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Ask Alma

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Alma Gill

By Alma Gill
NNPA Columnist

 

Trying to Help Mom

Dear Alma,

My dad left my mom for another woman. My mother is so sad and I think it’s affecting her health. She was recently on leave from work because she is too sick to go. She told me and my sister it wasn’t serious and we shouldn’t worry. I am worried and I am so mad at my dad. My mom is taking care of us now and she is doing it all by herself. Although I have a part-time job, I was thinking maybe I should graduate from high school early and start college so I can hurry up and help my mom and my sister. My mom works at a college, so I can take classes for free. What advice would you give me Alma, should I hurry up and start college so I can graduate and help my family?

Worried Son

 

Awwwe my darling, I applaud your efforts to step up to the plate and fill the role your father has left vacant, but you can’t. You aren’t the father, you’re the son. It’s human nature for you to desire to make everything alright, but that’s too much of a load for you to take on. What I want you to do is concentrate and continue on your path of being an exceptional student.

What’s happening now won’t last forever. Your parents will resolve their issues. Don’t overanalyze, try to compensate, correct, or take ownership of what’s happening between your mom and dad. They’re grown folks handling grown folks business. You can step back and take a breather. I know you know most of what’s going on, but trust me, you don’t know all. Promise me you won’t take sides, but you’ll respect them both and continue to do you. I’m sorry to hear of your mother’s health complications. But in the midst of all this turmoil, I’m sure that your mother sees a few silver linings and you, for sure, are one of them. You can help her in many ways. This isn’t your only option.

Now, as to your question about graduating from high school early….  Wow! That does sound exciting and as with everything in life comes the pros and the cons, so let’s examine a few.

Pros: You’re done with high school, ready to start college and looking forward to starting your young adult life.

Cons: You’ll miss your prom, graduating with your friends and the senior year experience.

Honestly, you’re the only one who knows which choice would be best. Have a long, hard conversation with your guidance counselor; that’s a good place to start. They’ll have an enormous amount of information for you to navigate while making your decision. My two cents worth is, if you’re enjoying your life right now, hanging out and socializing with your friends, don’t rush it. If you’re fully active in your high school extracurricular activities, don’t push yourself to leave early, just stay focused.  Talk to your mom and let her know of your concerns about her health and your future opportunity to attend college for free.  She will share with you what’s best for your family.

Indulge me, as I take a moment to applaud you, young man. In the words of J. Anthony Brown – “Watchoutdehnow!”  Go on with your bad self!  Your question fills my heart. Not only are you a super bright and talented young student, you’re compassionate and concerned about your family. Lawd have mercy, can every mother join me with a shout of “amen!”  Don’t stop believing in yourself. Whatever you decide, I celebrate you sweetheart and pray that all your dreams come true!

Alma

 

Alma Gill’s newsroom experience spans more than 25 years, including various roles at USA Today, Newsday and the Washington Post. Email questions to: alwaysaskalma@gmail.com. Follow her on Facebook at “Ask Alma” and Twitter @almaaskalma.

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Activism

Oakland Post Endorses Barbara Lee

Barbara Lee will be able to unify the city around Oakland’s critical budget and financial issues, since she will walk into the mayor’s office with the support of a super majority of seven city council members — enabling her to achieve much-needed consensus on moving Oakland into a successful future.

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Congresswoman Barbara Lee. Courtesy photo, Office of Rep. Barbara Lee.
Former Congresswoman Barbara Lee. Courtesy photo.

As we end the celebration of Women’s History Month in Oakland, we endorse Barbara Lee, a woman of demonstrated historical significance. In our opinion, she has the best chance of uniting the city and achieving our needs for affordable housing, public safety, and fiscal accountability.

As a former small business owner, Barbara Lee understands how to apply tools needed to revitalize Oakland’s downtown, uptown, and neighborhood businesses.

Barbara Lee will be able to unify the city around Oakland’s critical budget and financial issues, since she will walk into the mayor’s office with the support of a super majority of seven city council members — enabling her to achieve much-needed consensus on moving Oakland into a successful future.

It is notable that many of those who fought politically on both sides of the recent recall election battles have now laid down their weapons and become brothers and sisters in support of Barbara Lee. The Oakland Post is pleased to join them.

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Activism

Actor, Philanthropist Blair Underwood Visits Bay Area, Kicks Off Literacy Program in ‘New Oakland’ Initiative

These community activations were coordinated with the San Francisco-based non-profit program “Room to Read.” Ray said he is also donating his time to read and take pictures with students to encourage their engagement and to inspire them to read more. The inspirational book “Clifford Ray Saves the Day” highlights Clifford Ray’s true story of saving a dolphin.

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Blair Underwood (left) and Barbara Lee (right). Courtesy photo.
Blair Underwood (left) and Barbara Lee (right). Courtesy photo.

By Paul Cobb
New Oakland Series
Opinion Part 3

The Post mentioned three weeks ago that a number of our local luminaries were coming together to support the “New Oakland” movement. As this current national administration continues to eliminate our “legacy” institutional policies and programs left and right, most communities find themselves beyond “frozen” in fear.

Well, esteemed actor, long-time Bay Area supporter, and philanthropist Blair Underwood returned to Oakland this week to speak with city leaders, community trust agents, students, the Oakland Post, and local celebrities alike to continue his “New Oakland” initiative.

This week, he kicked off his “Guess Who’s Coming to Read” literacy program in some of Oakland’s middle schools. Clifford Ray, who played the center position of the 1975 World Champion Golden State Warriors, donated close to 1,000 books. Ray’s fellow teammate Charles “The Hopper” Dudley also gave Converse sneakers to students.

These community activations were coordinated with the San Francisco-based non-profit program “Room to Read.” Ray said he is also donating his time to read and take pictures with students to encourage their engagement and to inspire them to read more. The inspirational book “Clifford Ray Saves the Day” highlights Clifford Ray’s true story of saving a dolphin.

Underwood also spent quality time with the Oakland Ballers ownership group and visited the amazing Raimondi Park West Oakland community revitalization site. In the 1996 TV film Soul of the Game, Underwood played the role of the legendary first Black Major League Baseball player Jackie Robinson and commended the Ballers owners.

“This group of sports enthusiasts/ philanthropists needs to be applauded for their human capital investment and their financial capital investment,” Underwood said. “Truly putting their money and passion to work,” Underwood said.

Underwood was also inspired by mayoral candidate Barbara Lee’s open-minded invitation to bring public-private partnership opportunities to Oakland.

Underwood said he wants to “reinforce the importance of ‘collaborative activism’ among those most marginalized by non-empathic leadership. We must ‘act out’ our discomfort with passionate intentions to create healthy change.”

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Activism

Councilmembers Ramachandran, Kaplan, Unger Identify Funds to Save Oakland Fire Stations

Our budget crisis – one of the worst in Oakland’s history – is compounded by the fact that people do not feel safe coming to Oakland due to our public safety crisis. By investing in our fundamental public safety resources today, we can send a signal to the world that Oakland is open for business. We have such a rich and vibrant culture, arts, and food scene that is worth celebrating – but we can only showcase this if we are able to keep our neighborhoods safe. Having fully functioning fire stations are absolutely essential to these efforts.

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Councilmember Janani Ramachandran. Courtesy photo.
Councilmember Janani Ramachandran. Courtesy photo.

By Janani Ramachandran

There is no greater concern to the people of Oakland today than public safety. Fire stations are the bread and butter of essential city services – and every day that we have stations shuttered, we imperil the lives of our community members. In response to widespread outcry over the current and planned closure of stations, myself, along with Councilmembers Kaplan and Unger, have painstakingly worked to identify millions of dollars of new funding to save our stations. The legislation we introduced on Thursday, February 13th, will amend our budget to prevent the closure of four fire stations that are currently on the chopping block due to our budget crisis and will re-open two closed stations that have already been closed – Station 25 and 28 – in the near future. The resolution that will provide the funding to keep our stations open will go before the full City Council for a vote at our meeting on Tuesday, March 4th at 3:30 PM – and we invite you to join us at City Hall to share your perspective on the topic.

Our budget crisis – one of the worst in Oakland’s history – is compounded by the fact that people do not feel safe coming to Oakland due to our public safety crisis. By investing in our fundamental public safety resources today, we can send a signal to the world that Oakland is open for business. We have such a rich and vibrant culture, arts, and food scene that is worth celebrating – but we can only showcase this if we are able to keep our neighborhoods safe. Having fully functioning fire stations are absolutely essential to these efforts.

With the devastating Los Angeles fire at the top of people’s minds, terrible memories of Oakland’s own wildfires are re-surfacing from the 1991 Oakland Hills Firestorm to the Keller fire just a few months ago – and how essential fire stations are to mitigating these catastrophes. But in Oakland, our fire stations don’t just fight wildfires – they also provide emergency medical services to our most vulnerable constituents, put out structural fires and encampment fires, and much more.

We recognize that there are a number of competing interests and important initiatives fighting for sparse City resources. But from my perspective, core safety services are the most pivotal functions that a City must spend its resources on – especially given the outcry we have heard around fire stations.

The fight to save our stations is not over. The resolution we introduced is a critical first step, and there are hurdles to overcome. If you support keeping our fire stations open, we invite you to be a part of the solution by making your voice heard at the March 4th City Council meeting at 3:30 pm.

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