National

Rape’s Other Victims

Published

10 years ago

February 10, 2015

Tiffany Perry, a child of rape, says that there are no services targeted to people conceived through sexual assault. (Photo by Tiffany Perry)

By Jazelle Hunt
NNPA Washington Correspondent

SECOND IN A SERIES

WASHINGTON (NNPA) – The first time Tiffany Perry learned about her conception, she was too innocent to fully understand the gentle explanation her mother was offering, too young to process such a heavy and complicated behavior.

What she distinctly remembers is watching “Oprah” with her mom a few years later, as a 10-year-old. It was the television episode in which Oprah revealed to the world that she was a rape survivor.

“When [Oprah] said herself, and started crying…my mom just fell apart,” the 39-year-old Jersey City, N.J. native recounted. “I tried to console her, but she was inconsolable. It was just so intense.”

At 15 years old, Perry’s mother was raped by her foster mother’s 21-year-old married son. His wife had invited Perry’s mother into their home to babysit their child and to escape her foster mother’s wrath.

Her foster brother raped her repeatedly for two weeks, sometimes at knifepoint. Despite being a virgin at the time and under the care of the state, few people bothered to inquire about the details of the pregnancy. Plus, the fact that he had threatened to kill her, kept Perry’s mother silent.

“Maybe, as a Black person, they just saw this as another teenage pregnancy, and nobody really asked any questions,” Perry said, trying to explain the unexplainable. “I can’t say with certainty…but I’m thinking that if she was White in a foster home and her belly started to grow, then maybe a flag would’ve went up somewhere and somebody would’ve investigated more as to why this foster child is pregnant.”

In subsequent years, freed by the Oprah episode, Perry’s mother became more forthcoming.

“As I grew up, she told me more details of the attack. It was like she had been carrying this around the whole time.”
But opening that door triggered another set of emotions in Perry.

“I went through different feelings of inadequacy, feeling like I had to overcompensate because I was a child of a rape. Even now, when I say the word ‘inadequate,’ I get choked up,” she said, her voice trembling with emotion.

“My mom was awesome, she never talked down to me….my mom always praised me, always gave me love,” Perry said. “But I felt like…I owed it to her to be perfect so she doesn’t feel like keeping me was a mistake.”

And there was the question of what she would say when asked about her father. Perry chose to say that he was dead, that he had left, or that she didn’t know him, depending on the questioner. But even while denying his existence, there was also a deep craving to know about this man, wherever he was.

Wanted to know her roots

More than anything else, she did not want her mother to feel badly.

“I didn’t rape her, but when I was younger, I used to feel like it was my fault,” she recalled. “The dreams that she probably could have fulfilled – if she had stayed that innocent virgin who wanted to be a lawyer – she wasn’t going to be able to fulfill those because I was here.”

Instead of pursuing her dreams, Perry’s mother had to shift her focus, looking after the needs of an infant rather than look forward to a career as an attorney.

“Sometimes she was a little more paranoid than I would think is regular,” Perry said. “When I was growing up my mom was so strict, or smothering, when it came down to me, particularly.”

Once, her mother sent her to the corner store for a few items. There, she ran into a family friend, an older man. He offered to buy her something – she chose cookies – and they parted ways.

She thought nothing of it – until her mother went into a rage.

“She flew off the handle. She beat me with an extension cord. And she told me, ‘Don’t ever accept anything from a man, they can’t be trusted, you don’t know their intentions.’ I’m six. I don’t have a clue what she is talking about.

“She cried. When I got older and reminded her about the incident, she explained to me that she didn’t trust anybody, she didn’t trust any man. And she wanted me to be extra careful. She wanted to put that fear in me.”

It instilled both fear and confusion, blurring the lines of what was acceptable with the boys and men in her world.

“It’s just assumed whenever a woman gets raped, she never gets pregnant, or if she does get pregnant, the child is automatically aborted or adopted,” she said. “There’s this group of people who’ve been conceived by rape and nobody ever discusses us. I want to talk about it because we exist. I exist.”

Unresolved trauma

Philadelphia-based author, activist, and scholar Ewuare Osayande wasn’t born of this violence, but also grew up in its shadow.

His mother spent her childhood at the mercy of a sexually abusive stepfather. The oldest of eight children, she was the only one who was not his blood-relative. The abuse was the family’s open secret. She grew up to date, marry, and divorce abusive men.

Justice Department data show that Black women are more likely than their White counterparts to be assaulted, sexually and otherwise by strangers and by family members.

“It was never the case where my mother cowered in the face of her abuse. She didn’t hold her tongue, she always spoke her mind,” Osayande said.

Today, Osayande is the creator of Project ONUS: Redefining Black Manhood, a series of anti-sexist workshops for Black men. It took time and life experiences before he was able to connect the dots and realize how his mother’s abuse – some he had witnessed, some he had not – had affected his own development.

“That processing has been life-long,” he explained. “I’m a divorcée. In that relationship, I found myself becoming like the men I swore for years I would never be. It never got to the point where I became physically abusive, but certainly emotionally abusive.”

As the son of a rape and abuse survivor, and as a formerly abusive person, he also realized he had to address his own internal conflicts and beliefs.

“It’s been a very real, clear determination on my part to make sense of the life I’ve experienced as a Black man, in a gendered way,” he explained. “It’s been my desire to become an effective ally in that struggle, in that engagement in the world in which Black women exist, and experience.”

Secondary survivors need help

In the sea of services for survivors, most resources geared toward family and friends coach them on how to best support the survivor in their life. Although crisis centers and hotlines are equipped to aid and counsel family and friends of survivors, few resources address the challenges these relatives face.

The book, I Will Survive: The African American Guide to Healing from Sexual Assault and Abuse, cites a study that draws parallels between the emotions of boyfriends and husbands of women who have been sexually assaulted, and the wives and girlfriends of war veterans.

“Not surprisingly, past or recent sexual trauma can present unique challenges for the survivor’s partner,” writes Lori Robinson, author of the book. “You are a victim too. Some experts call you the secondary victim. After all you are experiencing many of the same emotions sexual assault victims feel.”

Tiffany Perry’s breaking point came about 20 years ago. A probation officer contacted her out of the blue, looking for her father. He had given her name and birthdate as his next-of-kin. She learned that not only did he know about her, but he knew where she lived. To this day, the two live less than an hour apart. She has never contacted him, but has learned a bit about his life via a cousin and aunt on Facebook.

Perry’s mother remains her primary source of support.

“When I went to go look for support groups for children of rape victims or children conceived out of rape, they’re pretty much nonexistent,” Perry says. “[Rape] is so common we don’t even cringe when we hear about it. Rape is inhumane, and people are not treating it like it’s inhumane. They just treat it like ‘Well, it happens.’”

NEXT WEEK: Should we have faith in the faith community?

PART I: Rape and the myth of the “Strong Black Woman”

(The project was made possible by a grant from the National Health Journalism Fellowship, a program of the University of Southern California Annenberg School for Communication and Journalism.)

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Black History

Martial Artist Victor Moore: An American Karate and Kickboxing Pioneer

Throughout his career, Moore defeated many national champions, including Joe Lewis, Mike Stone, and Bill “Superfoot” Wallace. Moore placed in every tournament he competed in from 1965 until his retirement in 1975, defeating renowned national champions such as Mike Foster, Chuck Norris, Fred Wren, Glenn Keeney, James Hawkes, and Jim Kelly. Moore emphasizes that winning or losing does not diminish a champion’s credibility — they are all champions in his eyes.

Published

2 days ago

November 3, 2024

Oakland Post

Photo Courtesy of BlackPast.Org

By Tamara Shiloh

Victor Moore, born on Aug. 23, 1943, holds a 10th-degree Black Belt in Karate and is a four-time world karate champion.

As one of the chief instructors under Robert Trias in the Shuri-ryu Karate system, Moore was also among the first ten members of the Trias International Society. Over his 50-year martial arts career, he trained in various styles, including Chito-ryu with William J. Dometrich, Judo, Kempo, and Bondo karate.

Moore began his martial arts journey at the age of 7 in Cincinnati, lifting weights and reading Charles Atlas books to guide his training. By age 9, he had learned the basics of jujitsu and judo, and at 12, he began training in Kempo karate under Ronald Williams, who awarded him his first black belt after five years of instruction.

In 1961, Moore expanded his training by joining a judo school led by Ray Hughes and later trained in Gyu Ryu-karate under Harvey Eubanks. He studied Kempo with Bill Dometrich and continued exploring different karate styles. Instructors at the time, required students to start as white belts in each new style, even if they held black belts elsewhere, which shaped Moore’s adaptability.

Chung Ling, an exchange student from China, introduced Moore and others to Chuan Fa, enhancing Moore’s understanding of martial arts. He also took up judo at a school in Cincinnati, where he earned his brown belt, and trained in karate with Jim Wax, who had studied under the Shimabuku brothers. Moore’s toughness was further honed by his boxing experience at the 9th Street YMCA, where he became a sparring partner for Tiger Joe Harris.

At Central State University, Professor Barry Yasuto trained Moore in Shotokan karate, but Moore was denied entry to the Japanese Karate Association, possibly due to his race. After returning to Cincinnati, Moore opened his first karate school and began competing in national tournaments. He traveled across the U.S., eventually meeting Robert Trias, who became his mentor and helped him rise to the second-degree black belt level. Under Trias, Moore continued training in Kempo and Goju-Ryu styles.

Moore also trained under Dr. Maung Gyi, learning Bondo karate, stick fighting, and kickboxing. In 1973, Moore and Joe Lewis introduced kickboxing to America on the Merv Griffin TV show. Moore competed in the first kickboxing tournament in the U.S., facing Jim Harrison in a historic fight.

Moore continues to teach martial arts, working with instructors and students nationwide. His daughters, Vickie and Vonnie, and his son, Vanceston, also train under his guidance.

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Activism

Atty Gen Bonta: U.S. Law Mandating Emergency Care to All Patients Faces Threats

The attorney general highlighted that EMTALA is vital for ensuring that no individual is turned away from emergency services based on financial status or insurance coverage. Bonta stated that the law has been a cornerstone of emergency healthcare for decades, providing peace of mind to millions of Americans who might otherwise hesitate to seek urgent medical attention due to cost concerns.

Published

3 days ago

November 3, 2024

Oakland Post

iStock

By Bo Tefu, California Black Media

California Attorney General Rob Bonta emphasized the critical need to protect the Emergency Medical Treatment and Labor Act (EMTALA), mandating that hospitals provide emergency care to all patients regardless of their ability to pay.

In a recent statement, Bonta highlighted the potential threats to this essential legislation amid ongoing discussions about healthcare accessibility in the U.S.

“EMTALA ensures that no one is denied access to emergency medical care, including abortion care, and this federal law is more imperative than ever following the overturn of Roe v. Wade,” said Bonta.

This decision to support the federal government’s case comes at a time when many healthcare providers are facing pressure from rising costs and legislative changes that could undermine existing protections. Bonta called on lawmakers to reinforce EMTALA’s provisions and to combat any efforts aimed at weakening the act, asserting that equitable access to emergency care is a fundamental right.

He urged state and federal governments to ensure that all Americans, particularly marginalized communities, have the necessary access to emergency services without fear of financial repercussions. The brief indicates the coalition’s commitment to healthcare equity, emphasizing that maintaining strong protections under EMTALA is crucial for safeguarding public health.

As discussions around healthcare policy continue, Bonta remains steadfast in promoting initiatives that protect emergency care access, asserting that everyone deserves timely and appropriate medical treatment in emergencies. His efforts align with ongoing legal and advocacy battles to preserve the rights established by EMTALA in the face of evolving healthcare challenges.

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#NNPA BlackPress

Why Not Voting Could Deprioritize Black Communities

NNPA NEWSWIRE — President Biden’s Justice40 initiative. This executive order ensures that 40% of federal investment benefits flow to disadvantaged communities, addressing deep-seated inequities.

Published

4 days ago

November 1, 2024

Oakland Post

By Anthony Kinslow II, PhD

For generations, Black communities have been systematically denied the resources and opportunities provided to other American communities. Justice40 is more than a Biden-Harris initiative — it ensures a financial commitment to restore communities from historical inequities and bring lasting investment where needed most. It doesn’t matter if you don’t love Vice President Kamala Harris, are skeptical about her policies, or dislike her background as a prosecutor. If we want to see the progress and resources for Justice40 communities continue, we need to vote for her. The stakes in this upcoming election go beyond personal feelings and political preferences. A crucial piece of policy that directly impacts Black communities across the country is on the line:

President Biden’s Justice40 initiative. This executive order ensures that 40% of federal investment benefits flow to disadvantaged communities, addressing deep-seated inequities. Because the initiative was instituted via executive order if we don’t have President Kamala Harris in November, the executive order will likely be struck down. Justice40 touches every federal department—housing, education, transportation, energy, environmental protection, and much more. Using a broad range of metrics to define disadvantaged communities, the program is designed to avoid legal challenges while ensuring that many Black communities benefit from these federal investments.

Despite this historic initiative, much of the progress to implement this initiative could be undone by the results of this election. Justice40 is an executive order, and like all executive orders, it can be canceled with the stroke of a pen by the next president. If a Republican administration takes over, there’s every reason to believe this effort will be scrapped, especially with Trump’s explicit desire to reverse Biden’s policies. This is why we must cast our vote. This isn’t just about a candidate– it’s about securing a future where Black communities are finally prioritized.

In a Harris administration or a continued Biden-Harris presidency, we can expect the Justice40 program to grow and be further institutionalized. This progress has already started slowly but surely in departments such as the Department of Energy (DOE), the Department of Transportation (DOT), the Environmental Protection Agency (EPA), and the United States Department of Agriculture (USDA), with leaders working on systemic change. I know Many of our people in these positions working to make meaningful, lasting changes. This is in stark contrast to Trump’s presidency. While government work is always slow, the groundwork is being laid. For this progress to take root and continue benefiting our communities, voting to preserve it is essential. This is our vote to keep federal funds flowing to our neighborhoods.

SO, VOTE! Together, we can ensure that the Justice40 program continues to grow and uplift communities that have been left behind for far too long.