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Ask Alma

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Alma Gill

By Alma Gill
NNPA Columnist

 

Mom’s Friend Turned on Me

Dear Alma,

My husband was laid off after 16 years on the job. My salary alone wasn’t enough to keep up with the bills, so we decided moving in with my mom was the best thing. She has been having health problems anyway and is in need of care, so this works out for the all of us. My mom was in the hospital a few months back and was talking out of her mind. She told the doctors that I had been mistreating her, which wasn’t true.

During that time her best friend and neighbor visited regularly and knew everything that was going on. I’ve know this woman all of my life. While my mom was in the hospital this friend totally turned on me. I think she was even talking about me to the other neighbors. We had a big falling out about my mom’s care and what was really the truth. It was ugly! Anyway, I say all this to give you some background because she recently died and my mom wants me to cook and help her family out with her funeral. I’m thinking she must be crazy. Remember this woman has been awful to me, about all I can do is write a check. My friend told me about your column so I thought I’d ask your opinion?

T.B. in the Bahamas

 

Excuse me T.B., while I sip on my blueberry tea. I wanna make sure I’ve got a hold of all that’s happening in your house – oh wait it isn’t, it’s your mama’s home. Now that we’ve established authority, I can understand how difficult it is to find your adult-self and your husband, moving in with your mother. You and I both can agree and recognize, clearly it wasn’t ever a part of the game plan. But let’s not be ungrateful for this blessing, at least ya’ll have somewhere to go, so don’t get it twisted. While I can sympathize with your situation (sip, sip, aaahh) hold up, why are we talking about you and your immature issues when you’re mother just lost her dear friend? Since you asked, I gotta tell you ~ this shouldn’t be about you, it’s all about your mama! Yes, by all means you should help.

This woman and your mom have had a long, loving and valuable friendship over the years. I’m sure, similar to Lucy & Ethel, Florida & Willona, Maary & Rose, you hear what I’m sayin? These women, although on television, lived as neighbors who took great care of each other. When you saw one, you saw the other. They knew each other’s business and everybody else’s business, too, for that matter, LOL. I too grew up with these friendships beautifully displayed in my old neighborhood.  I watched grown women weathering the various storms of life, supporting each other through marriage and children, sometimes divorce, the loss of a child and even widowhood. Can’t you see, your mother is asking this of you because it’s just as if an aunt has died? It’s all the same to her – her best friend was just like family. She loved her and her love for her friend (your play aunt) outweighs anything you can argue, cuss or fuss about. So simmer down, reach for a cup of compassion, your mother is in a very fragile place, bless her heart.

I know I hear you, ya’ll had a fallen out, WHATEVER! Even if your mother was speaking out of her mind, as you say, her friend would only show solidarity towards your mom. That’s just the way it is between friends. Fall off your high horse before I push you off, forgive that woman for the misunderstanding between the two of you, and let it go. Pick up the phone right now and offer your services to her family. You hear me! Put on your mother’s shoes and pearls, and get to stepping. Don’t you sit down and take your shoes off until the memorial, funeral, wake or whatever is over.

Your mom has lived long enough to know you can’t truly love without giving, and the giving doesn’t have anything to do with money. It’s about giving of your time, offering up support that comes from your heart and unconditional care that isn’t measured.  When death takes a loved one, there’s no room for discontent or the holding of a grudge. Your mother is looking to see the best rise out of her daughter, stop acting like a child. Mind your manners girl, we both know while she was in her right mind, she taught you better.

Alma

 

Alma Gill’s newsroom experience spans more than 25 years, including various roles at USA Today, Newsday and the Washington Post. Email questions to: alwaysaskalma@gmail.com. Follow her on Facebook at “Ask Alma” and Twitter @almaaskalma.

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Advice

Rising Optimism Among Small And Middle Market Business Leaders Suggests Growth for California

“Business leaders across the Pacific region continue to demonstrate a unique blend of resilience and forward-thinking, even in the face of ongoing economic uncertainty,” said Brennon Crist, Managing Director and Head of the Pacific Segment, Commercial Banking, J.P. Morgan. “Their commitment to innovation and growth is evident in the way they adapt to challenges and seize new opportunities. It’s this spirit that keeps our region at the forefront of business leadership and progress. We look forward to helping our clients navigate all that’s ahead in 2026.”

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Super Scout / E+ with Getty Images.
Super Scout / E+ with Getty Images.

Sponsored by JPMorganChase

 Business optimism is returning for small and midsize business leaders at the start of 2026, fueling confidence and growth plans.

The 2026 Business Leaders Outlook survey, released in January by JPMorganChase reveals a turnaround from last June, when economic headwinds and uncertainty about shifting policies and tariffs caused some leaders to put their business plans on hold.

Midsize companies, who often find themselves more exposed to geopolitical shifts and policy changes, experienced a significant dip in business and economic confidence in June of 2025. As they have become more comfortable with the complexities of today’s environment, we are seeing optimism rebounding in the middle market nationwide – an encouraging sign for growth, hiring, and innovation. Small businesses, meanwhile, maintained steady optimism throughout 2025, but they aren’t shielded from domestic concerns. Many cited inflation and wage pressures as the top challenges for 2026 and are taking steps to ensure their businesses are prepared for what’s ahead.

“Business leaders across the Pacific region continue to demonstrate a unique blend of resilience and forward-thinking, even in the face of ongoing economic uncertainty,” said Brennon Crist, Managing Director and Head of the Pacific Segment, Commercial Banking, J.P. Morgan. “Their commitment to innovation and growth is evident in the way they adapt to challenges and seize new opportunities. It’s this spirit that keeps our region at the forefront of business leadership and progress. We look forward to helping our clients navigate all that’s ahead in 2026.”

Overall, both small and midsize business leaders are feeling more confident to pursue growth opportunities, embrace emerging technologies and, in some cases, forge new strategic partnerships. That bodes well for entrepreneurs in California. Here are a few other key findings from the Business Leaders Outlook about trends expected to drive activity this year:

  1. Inflation remains the top concern for small business owners. Following the 2024 U.S. presidential election, many anticipated a favorable business environment. By June 2025, however, that feeling shifted amid concerns about political dynamics, tariffs, evolving regulations and global economic headwinds.

     Going into 2026, 37% of respondents cited inflation as their top concern. Rising taxes came in second at 27% and the impact of tariffs was third at 22%. Other concerns included managing cash flow, hiring and labor costs.

  1. For middle market leaders, uncertainty remains an issue. Almost half (49%) of all midsize business leaders surveyed cited “economic uncertainty” as their top concern – even with an improved outlook from a few months ago. Revenue and sales growth was second at 33%, while tariffs and labor both were third at 31%.
  2. And tariffs are impacting businesses costs. Sixty-one percent of midsize business leaders said tariffs have had a negative impact on the cost of doing business.
  3. Despite challenges, leaders are bullish on their own enterprises. Though the overall outlook is mixed, 74% of small business owners and 71% of middle market companies are optimistic about their company’s prospects for 2026.
  4. Adaption is the theme. For small business owners surveyed across the U.S., responding to continuing pressures is important in 2026. Building cash reserves (47%), renegotiating supplier terms (36%) and ramping up investments in marketing and technology are among the top priorities.
  5. Big plans are on the horizon. A majority midsized company leaders expect revenue growth this year, and nearly three out of five of (58%) plan to introduce new products or services in the coming year, while 53% look to expand into new domestic and/or international markets. Forty-nine percentsay they’re pursuing strategic partnerships or investments.

 The bottom line

Rebounding optimism among U.S. business leaders at the start of the year is setting the stage for an active 2026. With business leaders looking to implement ambitious growth plans that position themselves for the future, momentum in California could be beneficial for leaders looking to launch, grow or scale their business this year.

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#NNPA BlackPress

COMMENTARY: The National Protest Must Be Accompanied with Our Votes

Just as Trump is gathering election data like having the FBI take all the election data in Georgia from the 2020 election, so must we organize in preparation for the coming primary season to have the right people on ballots in each Republican district, so that we can regain control of the House of Representatives and by doing so, restore the separation of powers and balance that our democracy is being deprived of.

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Dr. John E. Warren Publisher, San Diego Voice & Viewpoint
Dr. John E. Warren, Publisher San Diego Voice & Viewpoint Newspaper. File photo..

By  Dr. John E. Warren, Publisher San Diego Voice & Viewpoint Newspaper

As thousands of Americans march every week in cities across this great nation, it must be remembered that the protest without the vote is of no concern to Donald Trump and his administration.

In every city, there is a personal connection to the U.S. Congress. In too many cases, the member of Congress representing the people of that city and the congressional district in which it sits, is a Republican. It is the Republicans who are giving silent support to the destructive actions of those persons like the U.S. Attorney General, the Director of Homeland Security, and the National Intelligence Director, who are carrying out the revenge campaign of the President rather than upholding the oath of office each of them took “to Defend The Constitution of the United States.”

Just as Trump is gathering election data like having the FBI take all the election data in Georgia from the 2020 election, so must we organize in preparation for the coming primary season to have the right people on ballots in each Republican district, so that we can regain control of the House of Representatives and by doing so, restore the separation of powers and balance that our democracy is being deprived of.

In California, the primary comes in June 2026. The congressional races must be a priority just as much as the local election of people has been so important in keeping ICE from acquiring facilities to build more prisons around the country.

“We the People” are winning this battle, even though it might not look like it. Each of us must get involved now, right where we are.

In this Black History month, it is important to remember that all we have accomplished in this nation has been “in spite of” and not “because of.” Frederick Douglas said, “Power concedes nothing without a struggle.”

Today, the struggle is to maintain our very institutions and history. Our strength in this struggle rests in our “collectiveness.” Our newspapers and journalists are at the greatest risk. We must not personally add to the attack by ignoring those who have been our very foundation, our Black press.

Are you spending your dollars this Black History Month with those who salute and honor contributions by supporting those who tell our stories? Remember that silence is the same as consent and support for the opposition. Where do you stand and where will your dollars go?

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Activism

Post Newspaper Invites NNPA to Join Nationwide Probate Reform Initiative

The Post’s Probate Reform Group meets the first Thursday of every month via Zoom and invites the public to attend.  The Post is making the initiative national and will submit information from its monthly meeting to the NNPA to educate, advocate, and inform its readers.

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iStock.
iStock.

By Tanya Dennis

The National Newspaper Publishers Association (NNPA) represents the Black press with over 200 newspapers nationwide.

Last night the Post announced that it is actively recruiting the Black press to inform the public that there is a probate “five-alarm fire” occurring in Black communities and invited every Black newspaper starting from the Birmingham Times in Alabama to the Milwaukee Times Weekly in Wisconsin, to join the Post in our “Year of Action” for probate reform.

The Post’s Probate Reform Group meets the first Thursday of every month via Zoom and invites the public to attend.  The Post is making the initiative national and will submit information from its monthly meeting to the NNPA to educate, advocate, and inform its readers.

Reporter Tanya Dennis says, “The adage that ‘When America catches a cold, Black folks catch the flu” is too true in practice; that’s why we’re engaging the Black Press to not only warn, but educate the Black community regarding the criminal actions we see in probate court: Thousands are losing generational wealth to strangers. It’s a travesty that happens daily.”

Venus Gist, a co-host of the reform group, states, “ Unfortunately, people are their own worst enemy when it comes to speaking with loved ones regarding their demise. It’s an uncomfortable subject that most avoid, but they do so at their peril. The courts rely on dissention between family members, so I encourage not only a will and trust [be created] but also videotape the reading of your documents so you can show you’re of sound mind.”

In better times, drafting a will was enough; then a trust was an added requirement to ‘iron-clad’ documents and to assure easy transference of wealth.

No longer.

As the courts became underfunded in the last 20 years, predatory behavior emerged to the extent that criminality is now occurring at alarming rates with no oversight, with courts isolating the conserved, and, I’ve  heard, many times killing conservatees for profit. Plundering the assets of estates until beneficiaries are penniless is also common.”

Post Newspaper Publisher Paul Cobb says, “The simple solution is to avoid probate at all costs.  If beneficiaries can’t agree, hire a private mediator and attorney to work things out.  The moment you walk into court, you are vulnerable to the whims of the court.  Your will and trust mean nothing.”

Zakiya Jendayi, a co-host of the Probate Reform Group and a victim herself, says, “In my case, the will and trust were clear that I am the beneficiary of the estate, but the opposing attorney said I used undue influence to make myself beneficiary. He said that without proof, and the judge upheld the attorney’s baseless assertion.  In court, the will and trust is easily discounted.”

The Black press reaches out to 47 million Black Americans with one voice.  The power of the press has never been so important as it is now in this national movement to save Black generational wealth from predatory attorneys, guardians and judges.

The next probate reform meeting is on March 5, from 7 – 9 p.m. PST.  Zoom Details:
Meeting ID: 825 0367 1750
Passcode: 475480

All are welcome.

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