Advice

BOOK REVIEW: “The Day After Yesterday: Resilience in the Face of Dementia”

Well into his twenties, Joe Wallace was asked to sit with his “Granddaddy Joe” while Wallace’s mother and grandmother ran errands. His grandfather was once a vibrant man, and he’d been Wallace’s “hero,” but Alzheimer’s had put a curtain of sorts between them, and Wallace was “so frightened to be left alone with him.” It didn’t take long for him to realize that day that his grandfather was full of stories, and it was “magical.” He applied the same kind of patience when his grandmother began to experience dementia, too, and this spurred Wallace to tell a story of his own with his camera.

Published

1 year ago

December 15, 2023

Terri Schlichenmeyer The Bookworm Sez

By Terri Schlichenmeyer

Sometimes, Mom talks a lot of nonsense.

She talks in random syllables, half-jokes, thoughts that come out of her mouth backwards or mixed up. You try, she laughs, you laugh, pretending that you understand but you don’t. Mom has dementia and there’s nothing that’ll fix it, but you can read “The Day After Yesterday” by Joe Wallace and change the conversation.

Talk about your awkward encounters.

It didn’t take long for him to realize that day that his grandfather was full of stories, and it was “magical.” He applied the same kind of patience when his grandmother began to experience dementia, too, and this spurred Wallace to tell a story of his own with his camera.

The portraits he captured eventually became an exhibit, and this book.

“In the United States,” Wallace says, “one in three seniors suffers with Alzheimer’s or another dementia at the time of their death.” Nearly $700 billion dollars annually is spent caring for people with dementia. Alzheimer’s, as one of Wallace’s subjects points out, affects Black seniors more often than it does whites. For that matter, people with dementia need not be seniors: early-onset Alzheimer’s can affect someone in their early 20s.

Listen, Wallace’s subjects almost always say, and don’t hide a diagnosis of dementia. There’s no shame in it. Reach out to others who’ve received the diagnosis. Ask for help. Watch for suicidal thoughts and depression. Ask for stories, before they’re lost, and be honest about what’s going on. You can’t change the diagnosis, but you can change your attitude toward it.

It’s called The Long Goodbye for a reason – and yet, your loved one with dementia is still on this side of the sod and you know there’s still some there there. In “The Day After Yesterday,” you’ll get a new point-of-view, for both of you.

In his introduction interview, author Joe Wallace explains how he came to understand that “we could all do so much better” for those with cognitive disabilities, including Alzheimer’s, and why eliminating fear and awkwardness is essential. Readers will be quite taken by the then-and-now pictures and by the conversations Wallace captured.

But beware: this isn’t a book on caregiving or advice-giving. It’s a delightful, heartbreaking, tearful, surprising collection of profiles of everyday people in their own words, people who go with the flow and deal with tomorrow when it comes. Yes, you’ll find advice here, but it pales in comparison to the presence that Wallace’s subjects and their families exhibit.

This powerful book is great for someone with a new dementia diagnosis; it proves that life is not over yet. It’s likewise great for a caregiver, gently ushering them toward grace.

Get “The Day After Yesterday. It’s time for a talk.

“The Day After Yesterday: Resilience in the Face of Dementia” by Joe Wallace

c.2023, The MIT Press. $34.95; 157 pages.

Terri Schlichenmeyer The Bookworm Sez

Posts by Terri Schlichenmeyer The Bookworm Sez

Up Next

The Silent Struggle of Pregnancy Loss

Don't Miss

Oakland Post: Week of December 13 – 19, 2023

Terri Schlichenmeyer The Bookworm Sez

Click to comment

Advice

Mortgage Rates Are Dropping: What it Means for California Homeowners and Homebuyers

The Federal Reserve (the Fed), the U.S.’ central bank that dictates interest rates, continues to indicate that a potential rate cut is on the horizon. Not only can this impact affordability for prospective buyers, but it could be advantageous for current homeowners that are locked into higher interest rates. But, what does this all mean? Chase Bank answers some of your questions as it relates to prospective homebuyers and homeowners:

Published

3 months ago

October 6, 2024

Oakland Post

Photo provided by JPMorgan Chase Bank, N.A.

Sponsored by JPMorganChase

Homeownership is more than just a lofty American dream—it’s how many can build generational wealth. For the Black community, 90% of wealth gains come from homeownership, meaning that owning a home continues to be a crucial method for Black and Latino households to build and accumulate wealth.

But, what does this all mean? Chase Bank answers some of your questions as it relates to prospective homebuyers and homeowners:

What role do interest rates play in buying a home?
Mortgages respond to market conditions, including the Fed’s monetary policy. As interest rates climb, so do the interest on new mortgages and mortgage payments. Conversely, if rates fall, so does the interest on mortgages. So, buying at a lower rate can save you money in mortgage payments.

Should I wait to buy a home once interest rates fall?
Timing the market perfectly is not only challenging, but near impossible to do. While we hope the Fed will cut rates this year, it’s never guaranteed. Lower interest rates can save you money, but they’re not the only factor affecting affordability. So, instead of focusing on perfectly timing the market, we recommend leaning into what you can control: being financially prepared to buy a home.

Outside of readying your finances for homeownership, you can look for options that can lower costs and promote savings such as low down payment mortgages, down payment assistance programs and grants. And don’t forget you always can buy a home now and refinance in the future once rates drop.

How do I prepare myself to buy a home in this current environment?

We not only want consumers to attain homeownership but to sustain it. That’s why it’s important to understand what exactly you can afford before getting into the market. There are a variety of resources to help you prepare financially for buying a home to see how much you can afford in the areas you’re looking to buy, compare loan options and obtain a free credit score. You’ll also want to start compiling all of your necessary documents for pre-approval, such as W2s, bank statements, income documentation, etc.

What about the down payment? Do I need to have 20% of the home cost saved up?

Most first-time home buyers are singularly focused on saving for a down payment. However, long gone are the days of putting down 20% of the purchase price – low down payment loan options are available with some requiring as low as 3% down. Plus, there are a variety of incentives and grants that can lower your costs. For instance, Chase offers a homebuyer grant of up to $7,500, where eligible, to help with the interest rate, closing costs, and the down payment. These grants are offered in low- to moderate-income communities and neighborhoods that are designated by the U.S. Census as majority-Black, Hispanic and/or Latino.

Should I only work with one lender for my mortgage?

Studies show that 45% of borrowers who shopped around for mortgages received lower offers. Make lenders compete for your business – many have varying fees and closing costs that can add up. Also, interest rates can fluctuate daily, so lock in your rate with your lender if they offer that option for extra peace of mind.

I’m an existing homebuyer. How does a rate cut impact my situation?

It can be a good time to refinance when interest rates are going down, especially for those with rates above or at 7%. For current homeowners looking to refinance, we advise them to keep their end goal in mind as they consider whether refinancing makes sense for their personal situation. Work with your local advisor or using a Refinance Savings Calculator to understand when it makes sense for your specific situation to refinance.

Why should I refinance when rates are lower?

When interest rates are lower, you may be able to refinance your loan for a shorter term without seeing much of a change in your monthly payment. Even if your payments are higher, you may see significant savings over the life of your loan by making fewer interest payments. For example, you may decide to refinance a 30-year loan into a 15-year loan. While it has higher monthly payments, you’ll pay the loan down faster and pay less in interest.

Whether we’ll see a rate cut or not, there are many tools for first-time homebuyers and experienced owners to keep homeownership affordable and sustainable. For more information visit Chase.com/afford to start your journey, invest in your future and save in the long run.

For informational/educational purposes only: Views and strategies described may not be appropriate for everyone and are not intended as specific advice/recommendation for any individual. Information has been obtained from sources believed to be reliable, but JPMorgan Chase & Co. or its affiliates and/or subsidiaries do not warrant its completeness or accuracy.

Deposit products provided JPMorgan Chase Bank, N.A. Member FDIC

Oakland Post

Posts by Oakland Post

Activism

Leading with Action, Love and Data Points: Six Questions for the California Black Women’s Collective

“Black Women in California have always had to be active participants in the labor market, but this report showcases the need for fair and just wages even for those of us with higher educational attainment,” said Kellie Todd-Griffin, President and Chief Executive Officer of the California Black Women’s Collective.

Published

12 months ago

January 1, 2024

Oakland Post

Kellie Todd Griffin, CEO CA Black Women’s Collective Empowerment Institute.

By Edward Henderson | California Black Media

The California Black Women’s Collective (CABWC) is a sisterhood of women from different professional backgrounds aiming to uplift and address the issues impacting Black women and girls in the state. They approach problem-solving with a range of expertise — from politics, business, and community advocacy to the arts, entertainment, social justice activism, and more.

Earlier this month, the organization released a wage report focused on Black women’s earnings in California titled “Pay Me What I am Worth.”

“Black Women in California wages are below the state mean wage and make less than most of their female counterparts in every category,” continued Todd-Griffin. “We must take action now.”

CABWC’s Black Girl Joy Festival is an event designed to uplift Black Women and Girls in a safe space while learning and having fun. The festival includes free workshops that prepare women for college, dancing, self-defense training, health screenings, yoga, arts & crafts, and food vendors.

The Collective’s Empowerment Institute, launched in collaboration with the Los Angeles-based research firm EVITARUS, produces the annual California Black Women’s Quality of Life Survey.

California Black Media spoke with Todd-Griffin about the organization’s impact, challenges it faces and some of its near-term plans.

What does your organization do to improve the lives of Black people in California?

The California Black Women’s Collective Empowerment Institute’s uplifts the issues and voices of Black Women and Girls in California through our programming. That includes the Black Women’s Worker Initiative that helps Black Women prepare for public section and non-traditional careers. Other initiatives are the CA Black Women’s Leadership Development Certificate program at CSU Dominguez Hills; Black Girl Joy Festival for middle and high school students; Conversations for Black Women, etc. Our targeted research also uncovers solutions to the toughest challenges Black women and girls face.

What was your greatest success over the course of the last year?

We released the first-ever California Black Women’s Quality of Life Survey. This study collected insights from 1,258 Black women voters across California to understand their economic state, most pressing concerns, their attitudes toward policymakers, and their experiences and issues in California.

In your view, what is the biggest challenge Black Californians face?

Black Californians, especially Black Women, continue to be left out of the conversation when it comes to building meaningful change to improve the lives of those who struggle the most.

What was your organization’s biggest challenge?

Our biggest challenge over the last year was transitioning from a volunteer driven entity, the California Black Women’s Collective, to creating a non-profit organization, the California Black Women’s Collective Empowerment Institute.

Does your organization support or plan to get involved in the push for reparations in California?

Absolutely!

How can more Californians of all backgrounds get involved in the work you’re doing?

We are on all the social media channels. They can also visit our website, www.CABlackWomensCollective.org.

Oakland Post

Posts by Oakland Post

Activism

The Silent Struggle of Pregnancy Loss

It is a tragedy that Black women’s odds of pregnancy loss are much higher than the general population. It’s even more tragic that there is a Black woman reading this article who has experienced pregnancy loss and has suffered in silence. There are an array of feelings associated with pregnancy loss, and women often feel alone and isolated in these feelings believing that no one understands what they are going through.

Published

1 year ago

December 15, 2023

Oakland Post

Narissa Harris. Photo Credit Art Harris.

By Narissa Harris, LMFT

The topic and contents of this article may be difficult for some readers. Yet, it is of paramount importance to shed light on the silent struggle of pregnancy loss experienced by countless women.

During the holiday season, we often assume everyone is in a festive, happy mood. However, this time of year is filled with mixed emotions and can be especially difficult for Black women, who are 2-3 times more likely to experience a pregnancy loss compared to other women. Pregnancy loss (the death of an unborn baby/fetus during pregnancy) is experienced by 10-15% of women and doubles to 20-30% for Black women. Additionally, Black women are 3 times more likely to have a stillbirth in comparison to other women.

It is a tragedy that Black women’s odds of pregnancy loss are much higher than the general population. It’s even more tragic that there is a Black woman reading this article who has experienced pregnancy loss and has suffered in silence. There are an array of feelings associated with pregnancy loss, and women often feel alone and isolated in these feelings, believing that no one understands what they are going through.

Whether you are aware that someone has experienced pregnancy loss, or you have experienced pregnancy loss yourself, we must be sensitive and supportive to the women in our lives during this time of year. I encourage the following:

#1 – Don’t ask a woman about her uterus!

Yes, I know this is blunt and harsh, but it is important to be mindful of the trauma that may be triggered when asking a woman when she plans to have a baby. I will never forget being at a holiday party when a family member asked me when I was planning on having kids, unaware that I experienced my 3rd pregnancy loss just 6 weeks prior. It was triggering, upsetting, and annoying. While my husband and I were eventually blessed with 2 healthy children, I share my experience to reiterate the immediate and long-term harm caused by these types of invasive inquiries.

#2 – Connect with a supportive community!

If you are someone who has experienced a pregnancy loss or know a woman who has, it is vital to connect with a safe and supportive community even when everything is telling you (or that woman) to isolate. While no one in the chapter knew that I was dealing with pregnancy loss at the time, my connection with the Bay Area Chapter of the Association of Black Psychologists (Bay-ABPsi) served as a healing and uplifting space for my grief/loss. I learned from Baba Dr. Wade Nobles, who describes babies as divine and the closest beings to God. I want you to remember that connecting with our spiritual community and ancestors can offer healing and support.

#3 – Never lose hope!

To the women who have experienced pregnancy loss, it’s easy to believe that a successful pregnancy will not happen but keep the hope. Take the time you need to grieve and release the baby (or babies), allowing your womb to heal. View the lost pregnancy in terms of a spirit with a Divine purpose, even if it was short-lived, with you being the vessel for that Divine purpose. Believe and prepare for your baby, who will survive and succeed beyond the womb to fulfill their Divine purpose!

Bay ABPsi is a healing resource committed to providing the Post Newspaper readership with monthly discussions about critical issues in Black Mental Health. Readers are welcome to contact us at bayareaabpsi@gmail.com and join us at our monthly chapter meetings every 3rd Saturday via Zoom.