Commentary

COMMENTARY: Elderly Abuse

NASHVILLE PRIDE — We all must acknowledge that if we are fortunate, we will live a long and productive life and hopefully be taken care of in our old age with the overseeing of our children or closely related family members. In an idealistic world, you would think that the children or family members of elders convalescing or bedridden would prioritize the treatment and care of their loved ones

Published

7 years ago

April 7, 2019

Oakland Post

By William T. Robison Jr.

We all must acknowledge that if we are fortunate, we will live a long and productive life and hopefully be taken care of in our old age with the overseeing of our children or closely related family members. In an idealistic world, you would think that the children or family members of elders convalescing or bedridden would prioritize the treatment and care of their loved ones.

It shouldn’t be questionable that convalescing elders receive the best medical attention or assistance as possible. Of course, there are factors that may limit the type or quality of assistance or care an elderly one may receive based on their economical status, basically as it relates to insurance coverage and their financial standing. When all is said and done, many elderly adults fall victim to bureaucratic red tape and sometimes to unlikely family members taking advantage of their fragile and often debilitating condition.

Make no mistake, while most people have their parents’ or loved one’s best interest at heart, there are some family members who may possess ulterior motives, compromising or falling short of providing the best care that their parents or loved ones may deserve. In fact, you would be surprised at the number of families who seek litigation towards a sibling for abusing a parent by manipulating and abusing the parents’ finances (stealing).

There are loving children agonizing and feeling extremely guilty at their inability to spend more time with their ailing elders. This problem is only exacerbated when your location, job, and finances may make it impossible or taxing concerning the amount of time you can personally spend with your ailing loved one. This is especially problematic when you have no sibling or close relative to aide you in planning and providing for the care of an ailing or bed ridden parent.

Big families often share with the care of a parent or are often fortunate enough to have a sibling in a position to give around the clock care with the help or aide of available home care services. This can be a blessing or a setup for chaos. Either you have dedicated, loving sibling providers—or providers seeking to take advantage of the physical and financial condition of the elder.

Elderly abuse can take place in convalescing or nursing homes by overworked or uncaring employees, especially if the family is not cognizant of the daily progress of their loved ones. This is prevalent with elders whose children or families are in other cities or states. But what may be more alarming is a sibling from a large family taking care of a parent and using that position of authority to intentionally ostracize the other siblings from the parent. This occurs when the parent is told the other family members don’t care about them, i.e., they would visit more if they did—or that if it weren’t for them, the parent would be relegated to a nursing facility. This ‘I’m the only one that care about you’ is often a calculated manipulation by a self-serving caretaker with ulterior motives.

Constantly pressuring the parent concerning what is done as the primary caretaker and what your sibling/siblings or other family members aren’t doing is a modus operandi towards putting oneself into a position to gain control of the parent’s favor and finances (bank account, property, or etc.). By the time some family members find out what is truly taking place, the caretaker has significantly used the elder’s monies from their bank account and may have even manipulated the elder into changing their will, making a calculating caretaker the conservator of their will.

There are some cases where a deceitful caretaker or a family member is so treacherous and callous that they may deny the ailing elder critical medical attention (not taking them to the hospital), precipitating their death (presumably) out of greed. Sad as it may be, there are some people who feel that some people take too long to die.

We must be more aware of the mental and physical abuse taking place by supposedly trusted and reliable health care providers, especially among family members. This abuse is criminal and needs to be reported and investigated when suspected. It may consist of not taking care of the patient’s medical and physical needs, making sure they receive their meds, are clean, fed, physically and mentally stimulated, and changed when needed. Another sign of abuse is when a caretaker takes advantage of a disabled elder when the elder is in a sedated, confused, or comatose state, having him or her sign or convert things over to benefit the caretaker or a designated individual.

Often, we wait until to it is too late to truly address suspected abuses because we don’t want to believe that those caring for our loved ones are capable of such treacherous and malicious actions often fueled by greed. The allegations or proof of elderly abuse especially by a sibling have isolated or destroyed the closeness of many families. Elderly abuse is more prevalent than we realize.

We must remember that those we love will eventually grow old and probably reach a point where they need our supervision and guidance in providing them the proper care and love that they gave us while growing up. It’s never too early to plan for taking care of the ones you love when they are no longer able to provide for themselves. Vigilant overseeing of their care and progress should be a priority. The family as a whole must also be cognizant of the handling of their debilitated loves one’s finances, for it is paramount to avoiding abuse by others you wouldn’t ordinarily suspect.

A truly loving caretaker is a blessing from God. I cannot thank my brother, Marcus, enough for dedicating his life to making sure my mother wanted for nothing during her extended illness leading to her transition.

This article originally appeared in the Nashville Pride.

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Oakland Post: Week of December 24 – 30, 2025

The printed Weekly Edition of the Oakland Post: Week of – December 24 – 30, 2025

Published

20 hours ago

December 25, 2025

Oakland Post

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Bling It On: Holiday Lights Brighten Dark Nights All Around the Bay

On the block where I grew up in the 1960s, it was an unwritten agreement among the owners of those row homes to put up holiday lights: around the front window and door, along the porch banister, etc. Some put the Christmas tree in the window, and you could see it through the open slats of the blinds.

Published

5 days ago

December 21, 2025

Oakland Post

Christmas lights on a house near the writer’s residence in Oakland. Photo by Joseph Shangosola.

By Wanda Ravernell

I have always liked Christmas lights.

From my desk at my front window, I feel a quiet joy when the lights on the house across the street come on just as night falls.

My father, the renegade of the block, made no effort with lights, so my mother hung a wreath with two bells in the window. Just enough to let you know someone was at home.

Two doors down was a different story. Mr. King, the overachiever of the block, went all out for Christmas: The tree in the window, the lights along the roof and a Santa on his sleigh on the porch roof.

There are a few ‘Mr. Kings’ in my neighborhood.

In particular is the gentleman down the street. For Halloween, they erected a 10-foot skeleton in the yard, placed ‘shrunken heads’ on fence poles, pumpkins on steps and swooping bat wings from the porch roof. They have not held back for Christmas.

The skeleton stayed up this year, this time swathed in lights, as is every other inch of the house front. It is a light show that rivals the one in the old Wanamaker’s department store in Philadelphia.

I would hate to see their light bill…

As the shortest day of the year approaches, make Mr. King’s spirit happy and get out and see the lights in your own neighborhood, shopping plazas and merchant areas.

Here are some places recommended by 510 Families and Johnny FunCheap.

Oakland

Oakland’s Temple Hill Holiday Lights and Gardens is the place to go for a drive-by or a leisurely stroll for a religious holiday experience. Wear a jacket, because it’s chilly outside the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, at 4220 Lincoln Ave., particularly after dark. The gardens are open all day from 9 a.m. to 9 p.m. with the lights on from dusk until closing.

Alameda

Just across the High Street Bridge from Oakland, you’ll find Christmas Tree Lane in Alameda.

On Thompson Avenue between High Street and Fernside drive, displays range from classic trees and blow-ups to a comedic response to the film “The Nightmare Before Christmas.” Lights turn on at dusk and can be seen through the first week in January.

Berkeley

The Fourth Street business district from University Avenue to Virginia Street in Berkeley comes alive with lights beginning at 5 p.m. through Jan. 1, 2026.

There’s also a display at one house at 928 Arlington St., and, for children, the Tilden Park Carousel Winter Wonderland runs through Jan. 4, 2026. Closed Christmas Day. For more information and tickets, call (510) 559-1004.

Richmond

The Sundar Shadi Holiday Display, featuring a recreation of the town of Bethlehem with life-size figures, is open through Dec. 26 at 7501 Moeser Lane in El Cerrito.

Marin County

In Marin, the go-to spot for ‘oohs and ahhs’ is the Holiday Light Spectacular from 4-9 p.m. through Jan. 4, 2026, at Marin Center Fairgrounds at 10 Ave of the Flags in San Rafael through Jan. 4. Displays dazzle, with lighted walkways and activities almost daily. For more info, go to: www.marincounty.gov/departments/cultural-services/department-sponsored-events/holiday-light-spectacular

The arches at Marin County Civic Center at 3501 Civic Center Dr. will also be illuminated nightly.

San Francisco

Look for light installations in Golden Gate Park, chocolate and cheer at Ghirardelli Square, and downtown, the ice rink in Union Square and the holiday tree in Civic Center Plaza are enchanting spots day and night. For neighborhoods, you can’t beat the streets in Noe Valley, Pacific Heights, and Bernal Heights. For glee and over-the-top glitz there’s the Castro, particularly at 68 Castro Street.

Livermore

The winner of the 2024 Great Light Flight award, Deacon Dave has set up his display with a group of creative volunteers at 352 Hillcrest Avenue since 1982. See it through Jan. 1, 2026. For more info, go to https://www.casadelpomba.com

Fremont

Crippsmas Place is a community of over 90 decorated homes with candy canes passed out nightly through Dec. 31. A tradition since 1967, the event features visits by Mr. and Mrs. Claus on Dec. 18 and Dec. 23 and entertainment by the Tri-M Honor Society at 6 p.m. on Dec. 22. Chrippsmas Place is located on: Cripps Place, Asquith Place, Nicolet Court, Wellington Place, Perkins Street, and the stretch of Nicolet Avenue between Gibraltar Drive and Perkins Street.

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Desmond Gumbs — Visionary Founder, Mentor, and Builder of Opportunity

Gumbs’ coaching and leadership journey spans from Bishop O’Dowd High School, Oakland High School, Stellar Prep High School. Over the decades, hundreds of his students have gone on to college, earning academic and athletic scholarships and developing life skills that extend well beyond sports.

Published

5 days ago

December 20, 2025

Oakland Post

NCAA football history was made this year when Head Coach from Mississippi Valley State, Terrell Buckley and Head Coach Desmond Gumbs both had starting kickers that were Women. This picture was taken after the game. Courtesy photo.

Special to the Post

For more than 25 years, Desmond Gumbs has been a cornerstone of Bay Area education and athletics — not simply as a coach, but as a mentor, founder, and architect of opportunity. While recent media narratives have focused narrowly on challenges, they fail to capture the far more important truth: Gumbs’ life’s work has been dedicated to building pathways to college, character, and long-term success for hundreds of young people.

A Career Defined by Impact

One of his most enduring contributions is his role as founder of Stellar Prep High School, a non-traditional, mission-driven institution created to serve students who needed additional structure, belief, and opportunity. Through Stellar Prep numerous students have advanced to college — many with scholarships — demonstrating Gumbs’ deep commitment to education as the foundation for athletic and personal success.

NCAA football history was made this year when Head Coach from
Mississippi Valley State, Terrell Buckley and Head Coach Desmond
Gumbs both had starting kickers that were women. This picture was
taken after the game.

A Personal Testament to the Mission: Addison Gumbs

Perhaps no example better reflects Desmond Gumbs’ philosophy than the journey of his son, Addison Gumbs. Addison became an Army All-American, one of the highest honors in high school football — and notably, the last Army All-Americans produced by the Bay Area, alongside Najee Harris.

Both young men went on to compete at the highest levels of college football — Addison Gumbs at the University of Oklahoma, and Najee Harris at the University of Alabama — representing the Bay Area on a national level.

Building Lincoln University Athletics From the Ground Up

In 2021, Gumbs accepted one of the most difficult challenges in college athletics: launching an entire athletics department at Lincoln University in Oakland from scratch. With no established infrastructure, limited facilities, and eventually the loss of key financial aid resources, he nonetheless built opportunities where none existed.

Under his leadership, Lincoln University introduced:

Football
Men’s and Women’s Basketball
Men’s and Women’s Soccer

Operating as an independent program with no capital and no conference safety net, Gumbs was forced to innovate — finding ways to sustain teams, schedule competition, and keep student-athletes enrolled and progressing toward degrees. The work was never about comfort; it was about access.

Voices That Reflect His Impact

Desmond Gumbs’ philosophy has been consistently reflected in his own published words:

“if you have an idea, you’re 75% there the remaining 25% is actually doing it.”
“This generation doesn’t respect the title — they respect the person.”
“Greatness is a habit, not a moment.”

Former players and community members have echoed similar sentiments in public commentary, crediting Gumbs with teaching them leadership, accountability, confidence, and belief in themselves — lessons that outlast any single season.

Context Matters More Than Headlines

Recent articles critical of Lincoln University athletics focus on logistical and financial hardships while ignoring the reality of building a new program with limited resources in one of the most expensive regions in the country. Such narratives are ultimately harmful and incomplete, failing to recognize the courage it takes to create opportunity instead of walking away when conditions are difficult.

The real story is not about early struggles — it is about vision, resilience, and service.

A Legacy That Endures

From founding Stellar PREP High School, to sending hundreds of students to college, to producing elite athletes like Addison Gumbs, to launching Lincoln University athletics, Desmond Gumbs’ legacy is one of belief in young people and relentless commitment to opportunity.

His work cannot be reduced to headlines or records. It lives on in degrees earned, scholarships secured, leaders developed, and futures changed — across the Bay Area and beyond.