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COMMENTARY: Mama, oh Mama

Parenting is hard. There’s no play book or guide. When you’re in school there are so many things that you can’t be taught and so you spend a significant portion of your life in a trial-and-error mode. Fortunately for me, my mother lived long enough for me to “get it,” to have an understanding of many of the “whys” we lived through and that I questioned.
The post COMMENTARY: Mama, oh Mama first appeared on BlackPressUSA.

Published

2 years ago

May 23, 2023

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“My Truth”

By Cheryl Smith, Publisher of I Messenger Media | Texas Metro News

I have heard men talk about when their attitudes about women changed and usually this revealing moment comes when they found themselves looking into the eyes of their firstborn daughter. It’s like the moment the Grinch has in the Christmas movie, How the Grinch Stole Christmas. The Grinch was a “mean one!”

He was miserable and he wanted everyone else to be miserable also. You know, “misery loves company.” Well, I believe happiness loves company too, and while I want to spread love and happiness in the midst of the societal ills we are dealing with, I also want to spread justice, equality, consequences and repercussions. It would help if the Grinches of this world would have an attitude adjustment, a change of heart.

All I can say is, “WOW!”

Which brings me to my truth.

Parenting is hard. There’s no play book or guide. When you’re in school there are so many things that you can’t be taught and so you spend a significant portion of your life in a trial-and-error mode. Fortunately for me, my mother lived long enough for me to “get it,” to have an understanding of many of the “whys” we lived through and that I questioned. The Fresh Prince rapped, “Parents Just Don’t Understand.” I submit that children don’t understand either!

Entertainer, activist Harry Belafonte was interviewed by journalist Roland Martin and talked about his mom’s journey, which was challenging. He said he came to understand her better and elaborated about the significance of counseling. It is important and I highly recommend it. I am also grateful that l had that “Grinch moment” because it cemented my relationship with my mother, woman to woman. Later that year, when she transitioned, her celebration was scheduled for my birthday.

I remained close-mouthed because I didn’t want anyone saying I was trying to run things. Then a lightbulb went off and someone said, “That’s Cheryl’s birthday, we need to change it.” When I protested a change, I was told that every birthday I was going to remember “Mother.” My response was that every day I was going to remember her, so it didn’t matter.

As I spoke at her service, I said, “It was a Friday, June 20 when she looked at my face for the first time and here it is Friday, June 20, 2014 and I am looking at her for the last time. My message to everyone reading these words is to reach an understanding before it is too late. Have that Grinch moment. It is a two-way street, true; but you can’t make the decision for anyone but yourself and it’s a great way to move toward healing and living a more rewarding life. So, if your mom is alive, consider, if you haven’t already, finding out her “why.”

It could be a healing experience! “And tell her “Happy Mother’s Day,” everyday!”

Cheryl Smith is the owner, Publisher and Editor of I Messenger Media LLC the umbrella for Texas Metro News, Garland Journal, and I Messenger digital magazine. Email her at http://www.penonfire2@gmail.com

The post COMMENTARY: Mama, oh Mama first appeared on BlackPressUSA.

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OP-ED: The Illusion of Allyship. White Women, Your Yard Signs Mean Nothing to Me

NNPA NEWSWIRE – “The blue bracelets are something White women are wearing so others can see that they didn’t vote for Trump,” says Liberal Lisa from Oklahoma on X. Chile, bye. These bracelets are hollow symbols, empty gestures that mean nothing to me. An accessory to claim distance from Trump’s legacy is superficial comfort, while the choice to not stand with us in the voting booth is far more profound.

Published

2 weeks ago

November 9, 2024

Oakland Post

Political yard signs can symbolize intentions and allegiance. But this year, they’ve also symbolized betrayal. During this general election, Black women were led to believe that more White women would stand with us. Exit polls, however, told a different story. Despite overwhelming displays of support, more White women still chose to vote for the convicted felon, reality TV star, and rapist. White women answered the call but left us hanging at the polls.

A Familiar Disappointment

I live in DeKalb County, Georgia, and the abundance of Harris-Walz yard signs could’ve fooled me. But I’ve seen this before, back when Stacey Abrams ran for governor. White women showed up, put up signs, attended rallies, knocked on doors, and phone-banked. Yet, when it came time to vote, they let us down—not once but twice. I’ve been here for over 15 years, and if there’s one thing I know, it’s that political signs are symbols without weight.

In every election, I’ve talked with White women. Most aren’t the primary earners in their families and vote along party lines, aligning with the preferences of their fathers and husbands. These conversations reveal a reluctance to break from tradition, even when their votes affect women and certainly when their votes impact the lives of people who look like me.

The Illusion of Solidarity—Symbols Are Not Enough

On social media, I’m seeing White women posting pictures of blue bracelets to “prove” they didn’t vote for Trump. “The blue bracelets are something White women are wearing so others can see that they didn’t vote for Trump,” says Liberal Lisa from Oklahoma on X. Chile, bye. These bracelets are hollow symbols, empty gestures that mean nothing to me. An accessory to claim distance from Trump’s legacy is superficial comfort, while the choice to not stand with us in the voting booth is far more profound.

I’ve seen Black Lives Matter signs and black squares posted on Instagram to “prove” support for Black people, but we now know that was a lie, too. Will those same people who claimed Black lives mattered now take down their Harris-Walz signs and show their true selves?

Navigating these truths is a daily struggle for me—professionally and socially. White women often misuse their privilege, supporting us only when it’s convenient. Seeing overqualified Black women sabotaged or abandoned by White women at critical moments is a constant emotional challenge. It’s exhausting to live with this reality, especially when solidarity seems like something they pick up and discard at will.

One clever campaign ad from Harris-Walz that spoke directly to White women. “Your Vote, Your Choice” emphasized that their vote was private—independent of their household situation. Another was from Olivia Howell Dreizen, the “Vote Without Fear” campaign, which empowered women to consider the greater impact of their choices. But it seems many still couldn’t choose the roadmap to freedom—even when it was handed to them.

A Call for Action Beyond Words

White women, I want to believe you care, but actions speak louder than yard signs, bracelets, or Instagram posts. Show up in our communities, advocate in your workplaces, and stand up to dismantle the structures that uphold white supremacy. Only through real action will we know where you stand.

If you choose not to act, we see you—and we know exactly where you stand. Good luck these next four years.

Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed in this article do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of BlackPressUSA.com or the National Newspaper Publishers Association.

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Supernova Parenting Conference Empowers Over 100 Parents with Resources for Neurodivergence and Mental Health

The inaugural Supernova Parenting Conference was co-hosted by Natasha Nelson, known as Supernova Momma, and Yolanda Walker, founder of Parenting Decolonized. It brought together over 100 parents, caregivers, and educators dedicated to fostering understanding and support for neurodivergent children and mental health challenges. The conference provided invaluable resources, expert insights, and a collaborative space for […]

Published

2 weeks ago

November 7, 2024

BlackPressUSA.com

The event featured a variety of workshops, panel discussions, and keynote speeches from leading experts in neurodiversity and mental health. Attendees left with practical tools and strategies to enhance their parenting journeys, emphasizing the importance of understanding and supporting the unique needs of neurodivergent children.

“While the conference was a tremendous success, we believe that our work doesn’t end here,” said Natasha Nelson. “It’s crucial to continue providing ongoing support and resources for parents as they navigate this important journey. We want to ensure families can access the tools they need long after the conference.”

To extend the momentum generated at the conference, Natasha and Yolanda are excited to announce the launch of the Supernova Parenting Community. This membership-based initiative aims to offer a safe and supportive environment for parents and caregivers to continue their growth as conscious parents.

Membership is available for as little as $5 a month via Patreon, making it accessible for all families seeking support.

“We know that parenting can be a challenging journey, especially when navigating neurodivergence and mental health issues,” Yolanda Walker added. “Our goal is to build a community where parents feel seen, heard, and supported. We hope you’ll join us in this vital work.”

For more information about the Supernova Parenting Community and to sign up for membership, please visit supernovaparenting.org