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‘There are three people in your marriage… you, your partner and God’

THE BIRMINGHAM TIMES — I was a freshman and Shamar was a junior…as the night went on I was at the bar fixing my food and he came over and introduced himself. We conversed all night, we had amazing conversation and that night God literally told me that he was my husband and that kind of freaked me out because at the time I wasn’t hearing from God audibly. We ended up exchanging numbers but he never called.

Published

5 years ago

November 29, 2019

Oakland Post

NADIA AND SHAMAR GRAMBY

By Je’Don Holloway-Talley, Special to The Birmingham Times

“You Had Me at Hello’’ highlights married couples and the love that binds them. If you would like to be considered for a future “Hello’’ column, or know someone, please send nominations to Erica Wright ewright@birminghamtimes.com. Include the couple’s name, contact number(s) and what makes their love story unique.

NADIA AND SHAMAR GRAMBY

Live: Chelsea

Married: July 14, 2012

Met: In Huntsville in the fall of 2003 at a fellow Alabama Agricultural and Mechanical University [A&M] student’s apartment. Nadia’s friend and Shamar’s frat brother were throwing a social gathering and Shamar was one of the hosts.

“I was a freshman and Shamar was a junior…as the night went on I was at the bar fixing my food and he came over and introduced himself,” Nadia recalled. “We conversed all night, we had amazing conversation and that night God literally told me that he was my husband and that kind of freaked me out because at the time I wasn’t hearing from God audibly. … We ended up exchanging numbers but he never called.”

Shamar recalled that Nadia stood out. “I saw this beautiful young lady sitting there… I saw her communicating with everybody and she seemed fun and outgoing and it’s like God was telling me there was something about her that I needed to find out . . . we ended up having a real deep conversation which is odd for those kinds of parties. We talked about our goals, and faith…we had a lot in common and had a lot of the same things that we wanted out of life.”

First date: The pair went to see a movie that they cannot recall and afterward had a candlelit dinner at Shamar’s apartment. They ate steak, potatoes and green beans. Nadia recalled being very impressed. Shamar said he couldn’t recall the movie but did remember he cooked a full course meal and had some candles flickering. “I wanted to make sure she knew that I thought she was unique and special and that she deserved a certain level of effort and care.

Nadia said she couldn’t focus on the movie because “I was jittery and nervous the whole time. When Shamar picked me up from my dorm room he had flowers for me…he was playing R&B in the car, he was such a gentleman and opened all the doors for me… when we got done with the movie he said, ‘I’m going to cook you dinner and I got to watch him make it.”

Nadia said they shared a kiss at the end of the night. “I really wanted to kiss him and I knew he wanted to kiss me, but he was so respectful that I knew he would have never made the move to kiss me first, so I gave him the three-second start, I leaned in [first].

“I took it from there,” Shamar said.

The turn: Nadia and Shamar dated throughout their collegiate careers and had a son in September 2007. They didn’t want to get married early on “just for the look of it,” Nadia said. “We didn’t want to get married just because we had a baby, we wanted to be ready and marry because we were still in love.”

After dating for seven years they began talking in 2010 about marriage.

The proposal: On a couple’s trip in 2011 in Las Vegas, Nevada at the Venetian Hotel on a gondola ride.

“I chose the Venetian [hotel] because I had previously been to Italy and I wanted to take her one day so I thought it would be the perfect place…I chose a special song for the guy [paddling the boat] to sing to her in the Italian language and when we got to [the arching bridge] I had the guy pause there and I told her how much she meant to me and how I could not live without her in my life and that I would be honored if she would be my wife. I took the ring out and she said ‘yes.’

“I was surprised because we had been [on many adventures] during the trip and we were so casual, I could not believe he was proposing to me while I had on jeans and a tee-shirt,” Nadia laughed, “…when the man started singing in Italian and he [Shamar] started going in his pocket I was like this is really happening today!…it brought me back to the day I heard the voice of God and His promise was really about to manifest.”

The wedding: At the Museum of Art in Huntsville, officiated by Pastor Windell Davis of Union Chapel Church in Huntsville. Their colors were tiffany-blue, mocha and white.

Most memorable for the groom was Nadia’s walk down the aisle. “The band ‘Remedy’ (A&M students) was playing live and my cousin Sheena was singing [the band’s song] ‘You’ as she came down the aisle… Her essence and her beauty, and all of our memories came to a head, our child, I just broke down right then and there. Somebody had to pass me a handkerchief,” Shamar laughed.

Most memorable for the bride was “when we did the unity sand together after we did communion as a family,” Nadia said. “Instead of union candles, we did sand, so Shamar and I, and our son Khalil all had our own sand that we poured in a glass together and for me, that was really special for our family to be under the covenant of God in our relationship.”

Words of wisdom: “Always put God first, put Him as the head of your life,” Shamar said. Next, be loyal to each other and have each other’s back. It may not always be 50-50, but be willing to pick up where the other left off. Always encourage each other. Always keep in mind the reasons why you married that person and be willing to talk and look at their perspective in life because people change. Be an open book, whether it’s good or bad.

Nadia said, “you must remember that there are three people in your marriage: you, your partner and God. If you remember that and keep Him in the middle of your marriage, you’re more likely to have a successful [union]. Also] knowing that I can trust my husband… I can trust him with my heart and I can trust him with who I am at the core of who I am, and because I can trust him I can communicate… I can be honest, I can tell him how I really feel because I know that he will honor me and take care of me as his wife….

Happily ever after: The Gramby’s have one child, son Khalil, 12, and enjoy helping to build other couples as board members of the marriage ministry at their church More than Conquerors in West End.

Nadia, 34, is a Daphne, Ala. native and graduated from Daphne High School. She attended Alabama A&M where she studied psychology and earned a B.S. in Human Resource Management from Faulkner University (Hunstville campus). She is a birth and post partum doula and owns her own company ‘Crown of Glory Birth Services’ and is also an [online] student midwife at The National College of midwifery (in New Mexico).

Shamar, 37, is a Columbus, OH native, and graduated from Reynoldsburg High School. He attended Alabama A&M, where he earned a B.S. in mechanical engineering. He is an accounts service rep in sales and marketing for Viva Health.

This article originally appeared in The Birmingham Times.

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Remembering George Floyd

Published

14 hours ago

May 25, 2025

Oakland Post

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OP-ED: Oregon Bill Threatens the Future of Black Owned Newspapers and Community Journalism

BLACKPRESSUSA NEWSWIRE — Nearly half of Oregon’s media outlets are now owned by national conglomerates with no lasting investment in local communities. According to an OPB analysis, Oregon has lost more than 90 news jobs (and counting) in the past five years. These were reporters, editors and photographers covering school boards, investigating corruption and telling community stories, until their jobs were cut by out-of-state corporations.

Published

2 days ago

May 23, 2025

Oakland Post

By Dr. Benjamin F. Chavis, Jr.
President and CEO, National Newspaper Publishers Association

For decades, The Skanner newspaper in Portland, the Portland Observer, and the Portland Medium have served Portland, Oregon’s Black community and others with a vital purpose: to inform, uplift and empower. But legislation now moving through the Oregon Legislature threatens these community news institutions—and others like them.

As President and CEO of the National Newspaper Publishers Association (NNPA), which represents more than 255 Black-owned media outlets across the United States—including historic publications like The Skanner, Portland Observer, and the Portland Medium—l believe that some Oregon lawmakers would do more harm than good for local journalism and community-owned publications they are hoping to protect.

Oregon Senate Bill 686 would require large digital platforms such as Google and Meta to pay for linking to news content. The goal is to bring desperately needed support to local newsrooms. However, the approach, while well-intentioned, puts smaller, community-based publications at a future severe financial risk.

We need to ask – will these payments paid by tech companies benefit the journalists and outlets that need them most? Nearly half of Oregon’s media outlets are now owned by national conglomerates with no lasting investment in local communities. According to an OPB analysis, Oregon has lost more than 90 news jobs (and counting) in the past five years. These were reporters, editors, and photographers covering school boards, investigating corruption, and telling community stories, until their jobs were cut by out-of-state corporations.

Legislation that sends money to these national conglomerate owners—without the right safeguards to protect independent and community-based outlets—rewards the forces that caused this inequitable crisis in the first place. A just and inclusive policy must guarantee that support flows to the front lines of local journalism and not to the boardrooms of large national media corporations.

The Black Press exists to fill in the gaps left by larger newsrooms. Our reporters are trusted messengers. Our outlets serve as forums for civic engagement, accountability and cultural pride. We also increasingly rely on our digital platforms to reach our audiences, especially younger generations—where they are.

We are fervently asking Oregon lawmakers to take a step back and engage in meaningful dialogue with those most affected: community publishers, small and independent outlets and the readers we serve. The Skanner, The Portland Observer, and The Portland Medium do not have national corporate parents or large investors. And they, like many smaller, community-trusted outlets, rely on traffic from search engines and social media to boost advertising revenue, drive subscriptions, and raise awareness.

Let’s work together to build a better future for Black-owned newspapers and community journalism that is fair, local,l and representative of all Oregonians.

Dr. Benjamin F. Chavis Jr., President & CEO, National Newspaper Publishers Association

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Hate and Chaos Rise in Trump’s America

BLACKPRESSUSA NEWSWIRE — Tactics ranged from local policy manipulation to threats of violence. The SPLC documented bomb threats at 60 polling places in Georgia, traced to Russian email domains.

Published

2 days ago

May 23, 2025

Stacy M. Brown

By Stacy M. Brown
Black Press USA Senior National Correspondent

The Southern Poverty Law Center has identified 1,371 hate and antigovernment extremist groups operating across the United States in 2024. In its latest Year in Hate & Extremism report, the SPLC reveals how these groups are embedding themselves in politics and policymaking while targeting marginalized communities through intimidation, disinformation, and violence. “Extremists at all levels of government are using cruelty, chaos, and constant attacks on communities and our democracy to make us feel powerless,” said SPLC President Margaret Huang. The report outlines how hard-right groups aggressively targeted diversity, equity, and inclusion (DEI) initiatives throughout 2024. Figures on the far right falsely framed DEI as a threat to white Americans, with some branding it a form of “white genocide.” After the collapse of Baltimore’s Francis Scott Key Bridge, a former Utah legislator blamed the incident on DEI, posting “DEI = DIE.”

Tactics ranged from local policy manipulation to threats of violence. The SPLC documented bomb threats at 60 polling places in Georgia, traced to Russian email domains. Similar threats hit Jewish institutions and Planet Fitness locations after far-right social media accounts attacked them for trans-inclusive policies. Telegram, which SPLC describes as a hub for hate groups, helped extremists cross-recruit between neo-Nazi, QAnon, and white nationalist spaces. The platform’s lax moderation allowed groups like the Terrorgram Collective—designated terrorists by the U.S. State Department—to thrive. Militia movements were also reorganized, with 50 groups documented in 2024. Many, calling themselves “minutemen,” trained in paramilitary tactics while lobbying local governments for official recognition. These groups shared personnel and ideology with white nationalist organizations.

The manosphere continued to radicalize boys and young men. The Fresh & Fit podcast, now listed as a hate group, promoted misogyny while mocking and attacking Black women. Manosphere influencers used social media algorithms to drive youth toward male-supremacy content. Turning Point USA played a key role in pushing white nationalist rhetoric into mainstream politics. Its leader Charlie Kirk claimed native-born Americans are being replaced by immigrants, while the group advised on Project 2025 and organized Trump campaign events. “We know that these groups build their power by threatening violence, capturing political parties and government, and infesting the mainstream discourse with conspiracy theories,” said Rachel Carroll Rivas, interim director of the SPLC’s Intelligence Project. “By exposing the players, tactics, and code words of the hard right, we hope to dismantle their mythology and inspire people to fight back.”

Click here for the full report or visit http://www.splcenter.org/resources/guides/year-hate-extremism-2024.