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Alma Gill

By Alma Gill
NNPA Columnist

 

To Marry to not to Marry

Dear Alma,

A friend of mine is engaged to her fiancé of 4 years, she recently found out that her fiancé has a child that he never told her about or talked about. This happened before they got together. He said he didn’t want to say anything because he didn’t want to hurt her or didn’t want it to ruin what they have, he has had no contact with the child or mother since it happened but now it has come out because he has to pay child support, apparently the mother didn’t want him involved in the child’s life. She is feeling like she can’t trust him anymore or even go forward with dealing with the situation, he has stressed how sorry he is and he couldn’t find a way to tell her. Should she move forward with him or just move on and let it go?

 

Hmmm that was a stretch, even for the Rubber Band Man. I wonder how quick he was able to come up with that on, not long I’d surmise. His answer sounds overwhelmingly familiar. You know how we do when trying to offer up an empty resolution. We answer a question with a question. It’s one of the oldest tricks in the book. And you, oh wait, your friend, is sitting there ready to receive it. God bless you Honey. Personally, I’d end it. But I’m not you, or your friend and if she really wanted to leave, she’d already be gone. When a person is ready to bounce from a relationship, they don’t tell a soul, except the confidant who’s helping them break away. When one decides to go, there is no turning back. Your mind’s set and your bed’s made ~ there’s no room for discussion. In-Tay-Who, back to your package, lets open it up.

You’ve worn these shoes before and where did they lead you? Right back to the intersection of Lied2me Again & Heartbreak Blvd. TBT, you’re not lost, this is a familiar place. Hold on, don’t think I’m just picking on you. We’ve all occupied space here at one time or another. Your man, ah, this kind of man will always bring his shortcomings and gift them to you. You know why? Cause you’ll rewrap that bad boy into the fantasy you want it to be. Now with that said, let’s take a left, leaning towards a positive possibility and see what we can discover.

You, oh yea, your friend is obviously one of those women who deliver that “ride or die” kinda love. Stop right here, I’d like to offer an alternative, how about we celebrate the “ride and live” kinda love – for yourself. That’s the type of love that requires him to bring his truth and lay it all on the table. How about you insist that he disclose everything to you and tell you why he walked away. Be it unemployment or immaturity, you deserve to know. After he takes full responsibility, the two of you can start to work on this together, along with all of life’s challenges you’ll face as man and wife. This is huge, make no mistake about it. The chains of deception are broken and in need of delicate repairs. Seriously speaking, hold him accountable and help him to do right by his child. It’s gonna get a lot worse before it gets better. Stay focused and devote yourself to the commitment of your new family. When it feels like you just can’t take another step, remember “regular” can sometimes just be an option at the gas pump, LOL. Lawd have mercy, that aint nothing but the truth.

Alma

 

Alma Gill’s newsroom experience spans more than 25 years, including various roles at USA Today, Newsday and the Washington Post. Email questions to: alwaysaskalma@gmail.com. Follow her on Facebook at “Ask Alma” and Twitter @almaaskalma.

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Activism

Actor, Philanthropist Blair Underwood Visits Bay Area, Kicks Off Literacy Program in ‘New Oakland’ Initiative

These community activations were coordinated with the San Francisco-based non-profit program “Room to Read.” Ray said he is also donating his time to read and take pictures with students to encourage their engagement and to inspire them to read more. The inspirational book “Clifford Ray Saves the Day” highlights Clifford Ray’s true story of saving a dolphin.

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Blair Underwood (left) and Barbara Lee (right). Courtesy photo.
Blair Underwood (left) and Barbara Lee (right). Courtesy photo.

By Paul Cobb
New Oakland Series
Opinion Part 3

The Post mentioned three weeks ago that a number of our local luminaries were coming together to support the “New Oakland” movement. As this current national administration continues to eliminate our “legacy” institutional policies and programs left and right, most communities find themselves beyond “frozen” in fear.

Well, esteemed actor, long-time Bay Area supporter, and philanthropist Blair Underwood returned to Oakland this week to speak with city leaders, community trust agents, students, the Oakland Post, and local celebrities alike to continue his “New Oakland” initiative.

This week, he kicked off his “Guess Who’s Coming to Read” literacy program in some of Oakland’s middle schools. Clifford Ray, who played the center position of the 1975 World Champion Golden State Warriors, donated close to 1,000 books. Ray’s fellow teammate Charles “The Hopper” Dudley also gave Converse sneakers to students.

These community activations were coordinated with the San Francisco-based non-profit program “Room to Read.” Ray said he is also donating his time to read and take pictures with students to encourage their engagement and to inspire them to read more. The inspirational book “Clifford Ray Saves the Day” highlights Clifford Ray’s true story of saving a dolphin.

Underwood also spent quality time with the Oakland Ballers ownership group and visited the amazing Raimondi Park West Oakland community revitalization site. In the 1996 TV film Soul of the Game, Underwood played the role of the legendary first Black Major League Baseball player Jackie Robinson and commended the Ballers owners.

“This group of sports enthusiasts/ philanthropists needs to be applauded for their human capital investment and their financial capital investment,” Underwood said. “Truly putting their money and passion to work,” Underwood said.

Underwood was also inspired by mayoral candidate Barbara Lee’s open-minded invitation to bring public-private partnership opportunities to Oakland.

Underwood said he wants to “reinforce the importance of ‘collaborative activism’ among those most marginalized by non-empathic leadership. We must ‘act out’ our discomfort with passionate intentions to create healthy change.”

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Councilmembers Ramachandran, Kaplan, Unger Identify Funds to Save Oakland Fire Stations

Our budget crisis – one of the worst in Oakland’s history – is compounded by the fact that people do not feel safe coming to Oakland due to our public safety crisis. By investing in our fundamental public safety resources today, we can send a signal to the world that Oakland is open for business. We have such a rich and vibrant culture, arts, and food scene that is worth celebrating – but we can only showcase this if we are able to keep our neighborhoods safe. Having fully functioning fire stations are absolutely essential to these efforts.

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Councilmember Janani Ramachandran. Courtesy photo.
Councilmember Janani Ramachandran. Courtesy photo.

By Janani Ramachandran

There is no greater concern to the people of Oakland today than public safety. Fire stations are the bread and butter of essential city services – and every day that we have stations shuttered, we imperil the lives of our community members. In response to widespread outcry over the current and planned closure of stations, myself, along with Councilmembers Kaplan and Unger, have painstakingly worked to identify millions of dollars of new funding to save our stations. The legislation we introduced on Thursday, February 13th, will amend our budget to prevent the closure of four fire stations that are currently on the chopping block due to our budget crisis and will re-open two closed stations that have already been closed – Station 25 and 28 – in the near future. The resolution that will provide the funding to keep our stations open will go before the full City Council for a vote at our meeting on Tuesday, March 4th at 3:30 PM – and we invite you to join us at City Hall to share your perspective on the topic.

Our budget crisis – one of the worst in Oakland’s history – is compounded by the fact that people do not feel safe coming to Oakland due to our public safety crisis. By investing in our fundamental public safety resources today, we can send a signal to the world that Oakland is open for business. We have such a rich and vibrant culture, arts, and food scene that is worth celebrating – but we can only showcase this if we are able to keep our neighborhoods safe. Having fully functioning fire stations are absolutely essential to these efforts.

With the devastating Los Angeles fire at the top of people’s minds, terrible memories of Oakland’s own wildfires are re-surfacing from the 1991 Oakland Hills Firestorm to the Keller fire just a few months ago – and how essential fire stations are to mitigating these catastrophes. But in Oakland, our fire stations don’t just fight wildfires – they also provide emergency medical services to our most vulnerable constituents, put out structural fires and encampment fires, and much more.

We recognize that there are a number of competing interests and important initiatives fighting for sparse City resources. But from my perspective, core safety services are the most pivotal functions that a City must spend its resources on – especially given the outcry we have heard around fire stations.

The fight to save our stations is not over. The resolution we introduced is a critical first step, and there are hurdles to overcome. If you support keeping our fire stations open, we invite you to be a part of the solution by making your voice heard at the March 4th City Council meeting at 3:30 pm.

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Activism

NNPA Launches National Public Education and Selective Buying Campaign

“We are the trusted voice of Black America, and we will not be silent or nonresponsive to the rapid rise of renewed Jim Crow racist policies in corporate America,” stated NNPA Chairman Bobby R. Henry Sr. “The Black Press of America continues to remain on the frontline keeping our families and communities informed and engaged on all the issues that impact our quality of life.”

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iStock.
iStock.

Washington, DC: The National Newspaper Publishers Association (NNPA), representing the Black Press of America, has announced the planning and implementation of a national public education and selective buying campaign across the nation in direct response to those corporate entities that have dismantled their respective Diversity, Equity and Inclusion (DEI) commitments, programs and staffing.  NNPA Chairman Emeritus Danny Bakewell Sr. explained, “Now is the time for the Black Press of America once again to emphatically speak and publish truth to power.”

“We are the trusted voice of Black America, and we will not be silent or nonresponsive to the rapid rise of renewed Jim Crow racist policies in corporate America,” stated NNPA Chairman Bobby R. Henry Sr. “The Black Press of America continues to remain on the frontline keeping our families and communities informed and engaged on all the issues that impact our quality of life.”

At a recent convening of NNPA member publishers and editors, a united resolve was reached that each member publication of the NNPA will begin a national public education campaign coupled with the release of research data on those American companies that are engaging in efforts to sanction racial injustice, inequitable polices, divisive leadership, and economic apartheid in America.

“We note forthrightly that Black Americans spend $2 trillion dollars annually as consumers of products and services throughout the United States,” NNPA President and CEO Dr. Benjamin F. Chavis Jr. emphasized. “We now must evaluate and realign to question why we continue to spend our money with companies that do not respect us,” Chavis continued.  “This now must come to an end. These contradictions will not go unchallenged by 50 million Black Americans who have struggled for centuries to ensure equality, fairness and inclusion in our nation’s democracy.”

A selective buying campaign involves exercising the right to select what we spend our money on and who we spend our money with. We are starting with targeting TARGET.

The following are some of the major American companies that have publicly retreated from Diversity, Equity and Inclusion:

  • TARGET
  • Lowe’s
  • John Deer
  • Walmart
  • Meta
  • Tractor Supply
  • Amazon
  • McDonald’s
  • Ford
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