Op-Ed
Ask Alma
Wife’s Spending Out of Control
Dear Alma,
I love my wife and we have a great marriage. She’s beautiful, funny, spontaneous and easy to get along with. I can handle her good and her bad except for one thing. She spends like crazy! Her clothes fill up two closets in our home and extends to the basement, depending on the season. She has shoes she’s never worn and clothes that still have the tags on them. At some point we need to save towards our retirement and other obligations. I’m tired of living paycheck to paycheck to vacation back to paycheck. I’ve talked to her about it and she promised she’d stop her outrageous spending, but lately I’ve found bags of clothes in the guest room closet and the trunk of her car. Obviously, she’s still spending. I can also see the charges that continue to pop up on our credit card statement. I can’t believe she’s trying to hide what she’s buying now. How can I insist that she stop spending short of threatening a divorce? I love my wife and I don’t want a divorce, be we can’t go on this way. Any suggestions?
Name withheld
For the Love of Money ~ you know I’m pattin’ my feet humming the O’Jays, right! It’s helping me get my mind fixed and ready to answer your question, LOL. Some say it’s the root of all evil, money that is, I’m not sure if I agree. I think people are the root of all evil and money is an accessory. What I also know foshow is, couples have a hard time collaborating when it comes to money…. and sex….sex and money, Honey, the more you get the more you want, that’s what a preacher once told me. But I digress, LMBO.
An addiction to spending is a tough place to be. If she’s hiding bags as you say, I see it safe to assume, she’s lost control or she thinks you really don’t mind her spending.
The two of you obviously need to start a household budget. You also need to discuss who will oversee it and how it will be determined. Will you put everything in one account, or will you opt for a mine-yours and ours bundle? There is no right or wrong way to do it. As long as you’re in agreement on what’s best for the two of you. Also agree to allow for spending money and you both have to stay within those allocated funds. That part requires a commitment, a bond of trust that can’t be broken.
It won’t be easy, you two need a serious sit down. Lay all your facts and concerns on the table. This is not a scolding regarding her spending, but a joint discussion about your future. Figure out and be honest where she lands between overspending and compulsion. If she’s a shopaholic, please, seek professional help. If she’s overspending because she thinks you guys have money to burn, it’s time to come up with a financial strategy.
There’s an amazingly thorough money management column, written by Rodney Brooks for USA Today. He also has a book on Amazon titled, Is a Million Dollars Enough? It would benefit you guys to check it out. Again, agree to write down your financial goals and commit to them. I love that you stressed the love you have for your wife. Take a lesson from Rodney and learn new ways and methods, together, on how to manage your money. Good luck!
Alma
Alma Gill’s newsroom experience spans more than 25 years, including various roles at USA Today, Newsday and the Washington Post. Email questions to: alwaysaskalma@gmail.com. Follow her on Facebook at “Ask Alma” and Twitter @almaaskalma.
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Activism
Oakland Post Endorses Barbara Lee
Barbara Lee will be able to unify the city around Oakland’s critical budget and financial issues, since she will walk into the mayor’s office with the support of a super majority of seven city council members — enabling her to achieve much-needed consensus on moving Oakland into a successful future.

As we end the celebration of Women’s History Month in Oakland, we endorse Barbara Lee, a woman of demonstrated historical significance. In our opinion, she has the best chance of uniting the city and achieving our needs for affordable housing, public safety, and fiscal accountability.
As a former small business owner, Barbara Lee understands how to apply tools needed to revitalize Oakland’s downtown, uptown, and neighborhood businesses.
Barbara Lee will be able to unify the city around Oakland’s critical budget and financial issues, since she will walk into the mayor’s office with the support of a super majority of seven city council members — enabling her to achieve much-needed consensus on moving Oakland into a successful future.
It is notable that many of those who fought politically on both sides of the recent recall election battles have now laid down their weapons and become brothers and sisters in support of Barbara Lee. The Oakland Post is pleased to join them.
Activism
Actor, Philanthropist Blair Underwood Visits Bay Area, Kicks Off Literacy Program in ‘New Oakland’ Initiative
These community activations were coordinated with the San Francisco-based non-profit program “Room to Read.” Ray said he is also donating his time to read and take pictures with students to encourage their engagement and to inspire them to read more. The inspirational book “Clifford Ray Saves the Day” highlights Clifford Ray’s true story of saving a dolphin.

By Paul Cobb
New Oakland Series
Opinion Part 3
The Post mentioned three weeks ago that a number of our local luminaries were coming together to support the “New Oakland” movement. As this current national administration continues to eliminate our “legacy” institutional policies and programs left and right, most communities find themselves beyond “frozen” in fear.
Well, esteemed actor, long-time Bay Area supporter, and philanthropist Blair Underwood returned to Oakland this week to speak with city leaders, community trust agents, students, the Oakland Post, and local celebrities alike to continue his “New Oakland” initiative.
This week, he kicked off his “Guess Who’s Coming to Read” literacy program in some of Oakland’s middle schools. Clifford Ray, who played the center position of the 1975 World Champion Golden State Warriors, donated close to 1,000 books. Ray’s fellow teammate Charles “The Hopper” Dudley also gave Converse sneakers to students.
These community activations were coordinated with the San Francisco-based non-profit program “Room to Read.” Ray said he is also donating his time to read and take pictures with students to encourage their engagement and to inspire them to read more. The inspirational book “Clifford Ray Saves the Day” highlights Clifford Ray’s true story of saving a dolphin.
Underwood also spent quality time with the Oakland Ballers ownership group and visited the amazing Raimondi Park West Oakland community revitalization site. In the 1996 TV film Soul of the Game, Underwood played the role of the legendary first Black Major League Baseball player Jackie Robinson and commended the Ballers owners.
“This group of sports enthusiasts/ philanthropists needs to be applauded for their human capital investment and their financial capital investment,” Underwood said. “Truly putting their money and passion to work,” Underwood said.
Underwood was also inspired by mayoral candidate Barbara Lee’s open-minded invitation to bring public-private partnership opportunities to Oakland.
Underwood said he wants to “reinforce the importance of ‘collaborative activism’ among those most marginalized by non-empathic leadership. We must ‘act out’ our discomfort with passionate intentions to create healthy change.”
Activism
Councilmembers Ramachandran, Kaplan, Unger Identify Funds to Save Oakland Fire Stations
Our budget crisis – one of the worst in Oakland’s history – is compounded by the fact that people do not feel safe coming to Oakland due to our public safety crisis. By investing in our fundamental public safety resources today, we can send a signal to the world that Oakland is open for business. We have such a rich and vibrant culture, arts, and food scene that is worth celebrating – but we can only showcase this if we are able to keep our neighborhoods safe. Having fully functioning fire stations are absolutely essential to these efforts.

By Janani Ramachandran
There is no greater concern to the people of Oakland today than public safety. Fire stations are the bread and butter of essential city services – and every day that we have stations shuttered, we imperil the lives of our community members. In response to widespread outcry over the current and planned closure of stations, myself, along with Councilmembers Kaplan and Unger, have painstakingly worked to identify millions of dollars of new funding to save our stations. The legislation we introduced on Thursday, February 13th, will amend our budget to prevent the closure of four fire stations that are currently on the chopping block due to our budget crisis and will re-open two closed stations that have already been closed – Station 25 and 28 – in the near future. The resolution that will provide the funding to keep our stations open will go before the full City Council for a vote at our meeting on Tuesday, March 4th at 3:30 PM – and we invite you to join us at City Hall to share your perspective on the topic.
Our budget crisis – one of the worst in Oakland’s history – is compounded by the fact that people do not feel safe coming to Oakland due to our public safety crisis. By investing in our fundamental public safety resources today, we can send a signal to the world that Oakland is open for business. We have such a rich and vibrant culture, arts, and food scene that is worth celebrating – but we can only showcase this if we are able to keep our neighborhoods safe. Having fully functioning fire stations are absolutely essential to these efforts.
With the devastating Los Angeles fire at the top of people’s minds, terrible memories of Oakland’s own wildfires are re-surfacing from the 1991 Oakland Hills Firestorm to the Keller fire just a few months ago – and how essential fire stations are to mitigating these catastrophes. But in Oakland, our fire stations don’t just fight wildfires – they also provide emergency medical services to our most vulnerable constituents, put out structural fires and encampment fires, and much more.
We recognize that there are a number of competing interests and important initiatives fighting for sparse City resources. But from my perspective, core safety services are the most pivotal functions that a City must spend its resources on – especially given the outcry we have heard around fire stations.
The fight to save our stations is not over. The resolution we introduced is a critical first step, and there are hurdles to overcome. If you support keeping our fire stations open, we invite you to be a part of the solution by making your voice heard at the March 4th City Council meeting at 3:30 pm.
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