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Black Americans On How to Have Joyful Friendships

By Anissa Durham, Word in Black U.S. adults reported higher levels of loneliness during the height of the pandemic. This was compounded by isolation, in-person restrictions, and virtual learning. Many young adults report feeling left out or like they missed out on new friends and experiences. But, as we move into a “new normal,” Americans are still […]
The post Black Americans On How to Have Joyful Friendships first appeared on BlackPressUSA.

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By Anissa Durham, Word in Black

U.S. adults reported higher levels of loneliness during the height of the pandemic. This was compounded by isolation, in-person restrictions, and virtual learning. Many young adults report feeling left out or like they missed out on new friends and experiences.

But, as we move into a “new normal,” Americans are still struggling to make new friends. Friendship is vital to feeling less lonely and building an emotional support system.

A report by Survey Center on American Life found differences in feelings of satisfaction based on the number of friends Americans have. Black folks expressed greater feelings of satisfaction than white people.

I’ve spent the entire year thinking about my friends. The strength of our relationship. Making new friends. And losing friends. As a young Black woman, I thought about the joy and pain of friendships, and the vitality of those relationships.

Who and what makes a good friend depends on who you ask. But the beauty of these relationships illuminates our lives and mental health. To show the depth of good friendships and the pain of bad friends, I spoke with five Black women and men about what friendship means to them, and what they’ve learned from these relationships.

Here are their stories.

Trinity Alicia, 23, Boston, Program coordinator 

My closest friends are from college, undergrad at San Diego State. I have some post grad friendships that are in Boston. They’ve shown me so much about myself beyond being a student. I find them very valuable to my life.

Right now, I think a good friendship looks like accountability, check ins, good active listening, and just being in the loop. It takes a really good friend to have tough conversations and to understand the responsibility that they serve in your life. And to understand that their presence is powerful.

Since I graduated, I moved to a brand-new city where I knew no one and I live alone. So, I feel like it’s very easy to be lonely and kind of dwell on that quiet space. Now, I define friends as someone who gets you out of that quiet space, well-being, and centers my strengths and also pushes you to be greater.

I have a friend that I’ve known since I was 10-years-old. For him to see my growth is really cool, and we’re able to have different conversations than we were before. He channels health and well-being through difficult things like my parents’ divorce. He’s also a Black man, so there’s a lot of identity [conversations].

I think the loneliness doesn’t feel as strong. I don’t feel as alone when I’m communicating with my friends or when we’re making jokes and hanging out. I think their patience helps them to be a better friend to me.

Random calls, FaceTime’s, and audio messages are really something that I consider a love language. Audio message is really nice, it’s listening to your best friend’s podcast.

I identify as a Black American, and people that prioritize my identity especially in interracial friendships really helped me to feel safe. As I’m navigating a predominately white city, with historical stereotypes that are very anti-Black, it helps to know that friends are checking in.

It’s hard to make friends as an adult. Either I make friends, or I don’t. It’s definitely an inner conversation I have with myself. I want to see Black people, but I never know when is the next time I’ll see a Black person, which is so scary.

Taayoo Murray, 42, New York City, Freelance health writer

I’m very deliberate about how I define who my friends are, because I keep a very tight circle. My closest friends are Kathey, Rochelle, and Kimbrilee. The four of us are in a group chat. We’ve known each other for more than 25 years.

I prize loyalty. It’s not that you can’t criticize, it’s not that you can’t tell a friend they’re wrong, but I think loyalty is the main ingredient. I’m always there for my friends — always. I suppose that’s why I don’t have many because I’m so fiercely protective of my friends that I probably don’t have the bandwidth to have a ton of friends.

When Kathey had a miscarriage, I slept the entire night in the hospital with her. We were crying together. When Rochelle’s dad died, I dropped off my kids and went straight to the hospital where her dad died. Kim had a medical emergency once, and I made sure I was there with her.

My dad died when I was 25, I was really a daddy’s girl. Kathy broke the news to me. All of my girlfriends basically took over my life at that time.

I now know that they keep me sane. I kind of took my friendships for granted — it wasn’t until the pandemic that I realized how much I depended on them. Conversations that I have with my girlfriends, I don’t necessarily have with my sister, and I don’t have with my mom. It’s like a real safe space. There’s absolutely nothing that we don’t discuss in our group. We talk about anything and everything.

I like the fact that they listen, and they keep confidence. I never have to worry that the stuff I tell them I’m going to hear it somewhere else. It’s just so liberating. You don’t realize how much you need people to talk to until you don’t have it.

Jason Clarke, 23, D.C., full-time student

Some of my closest friends, we met at church. I’ve been friends with a lot of them for almost 10 years now. We’ve all seen each other grow up. It’s really crazy seeing how everyone’s life is turning out.

To me what makes a good friendship, number one, is loyalty. When I was facing some of the darkest parts of my life, I was able to depend on them. They’ve always been really dependable people who I can count on.

My brother passed away in 2017. That was a really, really tough time. The reason why I can say I’m sane today is because of my friends. I think people expect grief to be linear, but to this day my friends are still here for me.

I feel like they helped me to experience joy in different parts of my life. If I didn’t have them, I don’t know if I’d have any joy. I’ve also found peace through them. They’re truly kind, loving, and protective people.

A lot of times people believe that men can’t be friends with women, or there can’t be platonic friends — but I beg to differ. My friend group is a good mix of both.

Kayla Taylor, 24, Chicago, Content acquisitions editor

My closest friendships are friends that I met through my religious community, the Baha’i community. One of my best friends is Asiyih. Maybe two weeks into our friendship, I realized how important a spiritual component is in a friendship. We connected with each other on a level that I had never connected with any friends before.

Asiyih (left) and Kayla (right). Courtesy of Kayla Taylor.

We met in February of 2022. I had just moved away from home to Washington, D.C., for graduate school. One of the nights, we realized we were like the same person; we were just singing old Disney Channel songs. It usually takes me a really long time to get comfortable with someone, but I felt that with her right away.

She welcomed me into her life, the same way that I welcomed her into my life.

I was going through a really hard breakup at the time, and I needed a social circle. I think she intentionally and unintentionally helped me heal through that. And helped me realize there’s so much love outside of a romantic relationship. A friendship with other women is stronger than any romantic relationship I could ever build.

This time in my life feels a little bit next level, and I think part of it is that I’m getting the physical affection that I never really got growing up. Laughter is my favorite thing about these friendships.

Chantel Philip, 36, New Jersey, Photographer

My closest friends are from high school. A good friendship to me is a space to allow me to be my full self and authentically me. A lot of friendships I’ve had had to be in alignment of who I was in that moment. Navigating that is very difficult when you’re an adult. Because it’s uncomfortable and lonely when you’re growing and the other people are not, but you don’t want to let them go.

It’s important to create boundaries and have friendships that respect that and don’t push them. I’m a recovering people pleaser. When I was younger, I just wanted to be liked and to fit in. I was blessed and cursed for being very popular. I’ve realized my light is very bright, and my personality is very pure and fun to be around. With that energy, sometimes you attract the wrong people, who want to use your energy for their own means.

Courtesy of Chantel Philip.

I still had difficulty in college as well. Now when I see people being jealous of me — it’s weird. That has been something that I had to learn internally and let it guide me in the direction of better and more supportive friendships.

I do appreciate those terrible friends. I appreciate the jealous ones. I appreciate the toxic ones, and the ones that slept with my man.

There was a time when my ex cheated on me. We lived together. They came over and helped me pack and move into my new space. And my friends sat me down and said ‘I think your problem is that you don’t love yourself enough and you don’t see yourself as worthy.’

I didn’t know I wasn’t confident before. I didn’t know I had low self-esteem. I didn’t know I deserved more.

How ever you treat yourself in those friendships and how those people treat you will show up in your romantic relationships. Loving myself more attracted people in that same energy, because we’re growing together.

.

I’m so blessed to have curated the people who are close to me. I really, really want to make new friends this year. I realize they have to be in alignment with me and doing the work internally in their spirit.

Probably the toughest thing you will learn in your adulthood, is to understand not everybody can come with you — and it’s OK. They just can’t come with you on your journey, and they have to have their own journey.

I thrive in joy and happiness. For my mental health, I need people to remind me I’m a good artist, and I know what I’m doing, and that I’m brilliant. The reminder of your worth is so important. I feel like artists are very moody.

They force you to celebrate yourself. Even the littlest of things — (they tell me) ‘don’t be humble.’ They are my cheerleaders. They are my therapists. They’re my spiritual coaches.

I need the support. I need the love.

This article originally appeared in San Diego Voice and Viewpoint.

The post Black Americans On How to Have Joyful Friendships first appeared on BlackPressUSA.

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LIHEAP Funds Released After Weeks of Delay as States and the District Rush to Protect Households from the Cold

BLACKPRESSUSA NEWSWIRE — The federal government has released $3.6 billion in home heating assistance after a delay that left states preparing for the start of winter without the program’s annual funding.

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By Stacy M. Brown
Black Press USA Senior National Correspondent

The federal government has released $3.6 billion in home heating assistance after a delay that left states preparing for the start of winter without the program’s annual funding. The Low-Income Home Energy Assistance Program, known as LIHEAP, helps eligible households pay heating and cooling bills. The release follows a shutdown that stretched 43 days and pushed agencies across the country to warn families of possible disruptions.

State officials in Minnesota, Kansas, New York, and Pennsylvania had already issued alerts that the delay could slow the processing of applications or force families to wait until December for help. In Pennsylvania, more than 300,000 households depend on the program each year. Minnesota officials noted that older adults, young children, and people with disabilities face the highest risk as temperatures fall.

The delay also raised concerns among advocates who track household debt tied to rising utility costs. National Energy Assistance Directors Association Executive Director Mark Wolfe said the funds were “essential and long overdue” and added that high arrearages and increased energy prices have strained families seeking help.

Some states faced additional pressure when other services were affected by the shutdown. According to data reviewed by national energy advocates, roughly 68 percent of LIHEAP households also receive nutrition assistance, and the freeze in multiple programs increased the financial burden on low-income residents. Wolfe said families were placed in “an even more precarious situation than usual” as the shutdown stretched into November.

In Maryland, lawmakers urged the Trump administration to release funds after the state recorded its first cold-related death of the season. The Maryland Department of Health reported that a man in his 30s was found outdoors in Frederick County when temperatures dropped. Last winter, the state documented 75 cold-related deaths, the highest number in five years. Rep Kweisi Mfume joined more than 100 House members calling for immediate federal action and said LIHEAP “is not a luxury” for the 100,000 Maryland households that rely on it. He added that seniors and veterans would be placed at risk if the program remained stalled.

Maryland Gov. Wes Moore used $10.1 million in state funds to keep benefits moving, but noted that states cannot routinely replace federal dollars. His administration said families that rely on medical equipment requiring electricity are particularly vulnerable.

The District of Columbia has already mapped out its FY26 LIHEAP structure in documents filed with the federal government. The District’s plan shows that heating assistance, cooling assistance, weatherization, and year-round crisis assistance operate from October 1 through September 30. The District allocates 50 percent of its LIHEAP funds to heating assistance, 10 percent to cooling, 13 percent to year-round crisis assistance, 15 percent to weatherization, and 10 percent to administrative costs. Two percent is used for services that help residents reduce energy needs, including education on reading utility bills and identifying energy waste.

The District’s plan lists a minimum LIHEAP benefit of $200 and a maximum of $1,800 for both heating and cooling assistance. Crisis benefits are provided separately and may reach up to $500 when needed to resolve an emergency. The plan states that a household is considered in crisis if it has been disconnected from energy service, if heating oil is at 5 percent or less of capacity, or if the household has at least $200 owed after the regular benefit is applied.

The District’s filing notes that LIHEAP staff conduct outreach through community meetings, senior housing sites, Advisory Neighborhood Commissions, social media, posters, and mass mailings. The plan confirms that LIHEAP applicants can apply in person, by mail, by email, or through a mobile-friendly online application and that physically disabled residents may request in-home visits.

As agencies nationwide begin distributing the newly released funds, states continue working through large volumes of applications. Wolfe said LIHEAP administrators “have been notified that the award letters have gone out and the states can begin to draw down the funds.”

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Seven Steps to Help Your Child Build Meaningful Connections

BLACKPRESSUSA NEWSWIRE — Swinging side by side with a friend on the playground. Sharing chalk over bright, colorful sidewalk drawings. Hiding behind a tree during a spirited game of hide-and-seek. These simple moments between children may seem small, but they matter more than we think

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By Niyoka McCoy, Ed.D., Chief Learning Officer, Stride/K12

Swinging side by side with a friend on the playground. Sharing chalk over bright, colorful sidewalk drawings. Hiding behind a tree during a spirited game of hide-and-seek. These simple moments between children may seem small, but they matter more than we think: They lay the foundation for some of life’s most important skills.

Through everyday play, young children begin learning essential social and emotional skills like sharing, resolving conflicts, showing empathy, and managing their emotions. These social skills help shape emotional growth and set kids up for long-term success. Socialization in early childhood isn’t just a “nice-to-have”—it’s essential for development.

Yet today, many young children who haven’t yet started school aren’t getting enough consistent, meaningful interaction with peers. Research shows that there’s a decline in active free play and peer socialization when compared to previous generations.

There are many reasons for this. Children who are home with a parent during the day may spend most of their time with adults, limiting opportunities for peer play. Those in daycare or preschool may have restricted free play, and large classrooms can reduce supervision and social coaching. Some children live in rural areas, are homebound due to illness, have full schedules, or rely on screens to fill their playtime. And for some families, finding other families with young children to connect with isn’t easy.

While these challenges can feel significant, opportunities for connection still exist in every community. Families can take simple steps to help children build friendships, create a sense of belonging, and strengthen social skills. Here are some ideas to get started:

  • Storytime sessions at libraries or local bookstores
  • Community offerings such as parent-child workshops, art, music, gymnastics, swimming, or sports programs
  • Weekly events at children’s museums, which may include art projects, music workshops, or science experiments
  • Outdoor exploration, where kids can play with peers
  • Local parenting groups that organize playdates and group activities
  • Volunteer opportunities where children can participate, such as pet adoption events or packing meals at a food bank
  • Classes for kids at local businesses, including hardware, grocery, or craft stores

Some of these community activities are free or low-cost and give kids the chance to build friendships and practice social skills. Parents can also model positive social behavior by interacting with other parents and encouraging their children to play with their peers.

These may seem like small moments of connection, but they can have a powerful impact. Every time your child shares a toy, plays make-believe with peers, or races a friend down the slide, they’re not just playing—they’re learning the skills that build confidence, empathy, and lasting friendships. And it’s good for you, too. Creating intentional opportunities for play also helps you strengthen your own network of parents who can support one another as your children grow together.

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#NNPA BlackPress

Seven Steps to Help Your Child Build Meaningful Connections

BLACKPRESSUSA NEWSWIRE — Swinging side by side with a friend on the playground. Sharing chalk over bright, colorful sidewalk drawings. Hiding behind a tree during a spirited game of hide-and-seek. These simple moments between children may seem small, but they matter more than we think

Published

on

By Niyoka McCoy, Ed.D., Chief Learning Officer, Stride/K12

Swinging side by side with a friend on the playground. Sharing chalk over bright, colorful sidewalk drawings. Hiding behind a tree during a spirited game of hide-and-seek. These simple moments between children may seem small, but they matter more than we think: They lay the foundation for some of life’s most important skills.

Through everyday play, young children begin learning essential social and emotional skills like sharing, resolving conflicts, showing empathy, and managing their emotions. These social skills help shape emotional growth and set kids up for long-term success. Socialization in early childhood isn’t just a “nice-to-have”—it’s essential for development.

Yet today, many young children who haven’t yet started school aren’t getting enough consistent, meaningful interaction with peers. Research shows that there’s a decline in active free play and peer socialization when compared to previous generations.

There are many reasons for this. Children who are home with a parent during the day may spend most of their time with adults, limiting opportunities for peer play. Those in daycare or preschool may have restricted free play, and large classrooms can reduce supervision and social coaching. Some children live in rural areas, are homebound due to illness, have full schedules, or rely on screens to fill their playtime. And for some families, finding other families with young children to connect with isn’t easy.

While these challenges can feel significant, opportunities for connection still exist in every community. Families can take simple steps to help children build friendships, create a sense of belonging, and strengthen social skills. Here are some ideas to get started:

  • Storytime sessions at libraries or local bookstores
  • Community offerings such as parent-child workshops, art, music, gymnastics, swimming, or sports programs
  • Weekly events at children’s museums, which may include art projects, music workshops, or science experiments
  • Outdoor exploration, where kids can play with peers
  • Local parenting groups that organize playdates and group activities
  • Volunteer opportunities where children can participate, such as pet adoption events or packing meals at a food bank
  • Classes for kids at local businesses, including hardware, grocery, or craft stores

Some of these community activities are free or low-cost and give kids the chance to build friendships and practice social skills. Parents can also model positive social behavior by interacting with other parents and encouraging their children to play with their peers.

These may seem like small moments of connection, but they can have a powerful impact. Every time your child shares a toy, plays make-believe with peers, or races a friend down the slide, they’re not just playing—they’re learning the skills that build confidence, empathy, and lasting friendships. And it’s good for you, too. Creating intentional opportunities for play also helps you strengthen your own network of parents who can support one another as your children grow together.

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