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Stirring the Pot : Celebrating ‘Moms’ … not mothers

Published

11 years ago

May 6, 2014

It’s not easy being a “Mom.”

It’s a 24/7/365 job – yes, I said J-O-B – that is not for the faint of heart. It is not a profession that you can walk away from when you choose, but unfortunately, there are many women who just can’t handle it.

In my eyes, giving birth doesn’t make you a Mom … it only makes you “mother.”

Sure, anybody can take care of a child if placed with the task. Not unlike being responsible for one’s own self, it’s easy to bath, feed, cloth and perform basic must-dos, but how many people do you know, hear about or read about who can barely do that?

On Sunday, women around the globe will be lauded with flowers, gifts and more from their birth and self-adopted offspring as a way to say, “Thank you for all you do, MOM.”

That’s right Mom … not mother. Happy Mom’s Day!

So how do you go from a “mother” to a “Mom?” Here are a few things I’ve learned over the last almost 29 years as a Mom:

Patience is #1 – If you can master this one, you are golden. I see too many women who will give a young child whatever they want, and even take it away, due to lack of patience. When a Mom is able to incorporate a teaching moment into behavioral lessons nothing a child can do – including flushing the contents of your purse down the toilet, playing barber on a younger sibling or crying nonstop until he or she falls asleep – will produce more than a smile in return.

She who laughs last – will find that every situation has a comical side. So what if your child thinks that the annual school play is his or her moment to start her or his own comedy career. Or you know when your child is quick to tell your boss the truth about your “24-hour bug” you called off work for? But note: Profanity and sexual innuendos, which I have seen too many videos on social media recently featuring kids using it, do not warrant cuteness and is not something he or she will grow out of.

DIY everything! – Thanks to the many Christmases I served as Santa’s helper and put together bikes, I can add handywoman to my resume. Sure it’s easy to pay for others to do things for your children, but doing it yourself teach them a sense of pride and ownership and will foster memories for a lifetime.

Unconditional Love – Too many claim to have it, but far too few truly understand the meaning. Love is not a switch to be turned off when a child upsets, embarrasses and/or goes against your morals/values. Often times this is when he or she needs you most. “Disowning” and “shunning” is just another form of hate masquerading as misunderstanding. If you want to understand, you will.

So to all those #MOMS around the world, I wish you a Wonderful Day! May you continue to bless the world with your #Love, #Guidance, #Support and #Inspiration!

Michelle Fitzhugh-Craig is an award-winning, professional journalist who resides in Oakland. If you have an individual, organization, issue or other topic that may be of interest to our readers, contact her at talk2mfc@yahoo.com. Need more stirring? Visit stpminute.blogspot.com.

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Activism

LIVE! — TOWN HALL ON RACISM AND ITS IMPACT — THURS. 11.14.24 5PM PST

Join us for a LIVE Virtual Town Hall on the Impact of Racism hosted by Post News Group Journalist Carla Thomas and featuring Oakland, CA NAACP President Cynthia Adams & other Special Guests.
Thursday, November 14, 2024, 5 p.m. – 6:30 p.m. PST

Published

5 days ago

November 12, 2024

Oakland Post

Discussion Topics:
• Since the pandemic, what battles have the NAACP fought nationally, and how have they impacted us locally?
• What trends are you seeing concerning Racism? Is it more covert or overt?
• What are the top 5 issues resulting from racism in our communities?
• How do racial and other types of discrimination impact local communities?
• What are the most effective ways our community can combat racism and hate?

Your questions and comments will be shared LIVE with the moderators and viewers during the broadcast.

STREAMED LIVE!
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Oakland Post: Week of November 6 – 12, 2024

The printed Weekly Edition of the Oakland Post: Week of November 6 – 12, 2024

Published

1 week ago

November 9, 2024

Oakland Post

To enlarge your view of this issue, use the slider, magnifying glass icon or full page icon in the lower right corner of the browser window.

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#NNPA BlackPress

OP-ED: The Illusion of Allyship. White Women, Your Yard Signs Mean Nothing to Me

NNPA NEWSWIRE – “The blue bracelets are something White women are wearing so others can see that they didn’t vote for Trump,” says Liberal Lisa from Oklahoma on X. Chile, bye. These bracelets are hollow symbols, empty gestures that mean nothing to me. An accessory to claim distance from Trump’s legacy is superficial comfort, while the choice to not stand with us in the voting booth is far more profound.

Published

1 week ago

November 9, 2024

Oakland Post

Political yard signs can symbolize intentions and allegiance. But this year, they’ve also symbolized betrayal. During this general election, Black women were led to believe that more White women would stand with us. Exit polls, however, told a different story. Despite overwhelming displays of support, more White women still chose to vote for the convicted felon, reality TV star, and rapist. White women answered the call but left us hanging at the polls.

A Familiar Disappointment

I live in DeKalb County, Georgia, and the abundance of Harris-Walz yard signs could’ve fooled me. But I’ve seen this before, back when Stacey Abrams ran for governor. White women showed up, put up signs, attended rallies, knocked on doors, and phone-banked. Yet, when it came time to vote, they let us down—not once but twice. I’ve been here for over 15 years, and if there’s one thing I know, it’s that political signs are symbols without weight.

In every election, I’ve talked with White women. Most aren’t the primary earners in their families and vote along party lines, aligning with the preferences of their fathers and husbands. These conversations reveal a reluctance to break from tradition, even when their votes affect women and certainly when their votes impact the lives of people who look like me.

The Illusion of Solidarity—Symbols Are Not Enough

On social media, I’m seeing White women posting pictures of blue bracelets to “prove” they didn’t vote for Trump. “The blue bracelets are something White women are wearing so others can see that they didn’t vote for Trump,” says Liberal Lisa from Oklahoma on X. Chile, bye. These bracelets are hollow symbols, empty gestures that mean nothing to me. An accessory to claim distance from Trump’s legacy is superficial comfort, while the choice to not stand with us in the voting booth is far more profound.

I’ve seen Black Lives Matter signs and black squares posted on Instagram to “prove” support for Black people, but we now know that was a lie, too. Will those same people who claimed Black lives mattered now take down their Harris-Walz signs and show their true selves?

Navigating these truths is a daily struggle for me—professionally and socially. White women often misuse their privilege, supporting us only when it’s convenient. Seeing overqualified Black women sabotaged or abandoned by White women at critical moments is a constant emotional challenge. It’s exhausting to live with this reality, especially when solidarity seems like something they pick up and discard at will.

One clever campaign ad from Harris-Walz that spoke directly to White women. “Your Vote, Your Choice” emphasized that their vote was private—independent of their household situation. Another was from Olivia Howell Dreizen, the “Vote Without Fear” campaign, which empowered women to consider the greater impact of their choices. But it seems many still couldn’t choose the roadmap to freedom—even when it was handed to them.

A Call for Action Beyond Words

White women, I want to believe you care, but actions speak louder than yard signs, bracelets, or Instagram posts. Show up in our communities, advocate in your workplaces, and stand up to dismantle the structures that uphold white supremacy. Only through real action will we know where you stand.

If you choose not to act, we see you—and we know exactly where you stand. Good luck these next four years.

Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed in this article do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of BlackPressUSA.com or the National Newspaper Publishers Association.