Arts and Culture

BOOK REVIEW: “Child, Please”

Published

10 years ago

May 12, 2015

It was enough to make any kid fearful for his life.

It was that look your mama gave you – the one you got when you were acting up, the one that made you want to join the Witness Protection Program. That look could freeze a kid on the spot forever like a statue and, though it was deadly, it rarely came with sound – except, says Ylonda Gault Caviness, a heavy sigh and “Child, Please.”

&amp;nbsp;

Growing up, there were many things you learned by observation – one of them being a sharp knowledge of when you were approaching your mother’s last nerve.

Author Ylonda Gault Caviness. Photo: Keith Major.

Like most kids, Ylonda Gault Caviness tried to avoid that mess; instead, she craved her Mama’s approval, though it wasn’t earned easily. And that was the way things just were.

Until Caviness had her first child.

Chloe was born on a hot August day, and Mama was enormously pleased, though she’d never admit it. In the first days, she was helpful and indulgent with the new baby, but, never one to filter what she said, she was constantly critical and eagerly pounced on that which she perceived was wrong.

That grated on Caviness. Still, mere weeks into new-mommyhood, Caviness was shocked when Mama announced that she was going home. Caviness felt abandoned.

There were grounds for that, Caviness reasoned. Mama had never had much of a mother herself: when she was just four years old, her mother died, and her father quickly gave her a stepmother who was almost straight out of a bad fairy tale.

Consequently, Mama didn’t put her own children in the center of her life. She gave them the love they needed, but not that which they wanted.

Some months later, Caviness had her second daughter, Trinity, an easy baby who made motherhood particularly good for Caviness and made Mama quite amused at the way children are raised today.

Bemusement, however, didn’t change her forwardness: to Caviness’ chagrin, Mama remained frustrating. By the time baby Cole came along five years after Trinity, everything – the help-no-help, the unwanted advice, and Caviness’ exhaustion– had all come to a crash.

So you say there are times when you consider asking your mother for a DNA test? And though you love your kids, you might include them, too?

Before you grab the swabs, read “Child, Please.”

The first thing you need to know is that author Ylonda Gault Caviness is funny. I mean, LOL funny, in a way that will make you feel like she’s been your friend since junior high.

You can practically picture the conversations you’d have with her. But this book isn’t all comedy: Caviness dispenses advice and sass, yes, but she also displays a sweet amount of gratitude, understanding, and the kind of love only shared between mothers and the daughters they drive crazy.

I think this is a perfect book for everyone who’s ever had a mom or been one. It’s also great for any mother-to-be. If you love laugh-out-loud, cry-a-little memoirs, then “Child, Please” is worth a Look.

“Child, Please” by Ylonda Gault Caviness, c. 2015, Tarcher / Penguin, $25.95, 320 pages.

Oakland Post

Posts by Oakland Post

Related Topics:Book review Terri Schlichenmeyer The Bookworm Sez

Up Next

Half-Japanese, Half-Black: Miss Japan 2015 not ‘Japanese enough’

Don't Miss

OP-ED: Oakland Hip Hop Artist Young Gully Speaks to Youth’s Experiences

Oakland Post

Click to comment

Arts and Culture

BOOK REVIEW: Love, Rita: An American Story of Sisterhood, Joy, Loss, and Legacy

When Bridgett M. Davis was in college, her sister Rita was diagnosed with lupus, a disease of the immune system that often left her constantly tired and sore. Davis was a bit unfazed, but sympathetic to Rita’s suffering and also annoyed that the disease sometimes came between them. By that time, they needed one another more than ever.

Published

1 week ago

April 28, 2025

Oakland Post

Love Rita Book Cover. Courtesy of Harper.

By Terri Schlichenmeyer

Author: Bridgett M. Davis, c.2025, Harper, $29.99, 367 Pages

Take care.

Do it because you want to stay well, upright, and away from illness. Eat right, swallow your vitamins and hydrate, keep good habits and hygiene, and cross your fingers. Take care as much as you can because, as in the new book, “Love, Rita” by Bridgett M. Davis, your well-being is sometimes out of your hands.

It was a family story told often: when Davis was born, her sister, Rita, then four years old, stormed up to her crying newborn sibling and said, ‘Shut your … mouth!’

Rita, says Davis, didn’t want a little sister then. She already had two big sisters and a neighbor who was somewhat of a “sister,” and this baby was an irritation. As Davis grew, the feeling was mutual, although she always knew that Rita loved her.

Over the years, the sisters tried many times not to fight — on their own and at the urging of their mother — and though division was ever present, it eased when Rita went to college. Davis was still in high school then, and she admired her big sister.

She eagerly devoured frequent letters sent to her in the mail, signed, “Love, Rita.”

When Davis was in college herself, Rita was diagnosed with lupus, a disease of the immune system that often left her constantly tired and sore. Davis was a bit unfazed, but sympathetic to Rita’s suffering and also annoyed that the disease sometimes came between them. By that time, they needed one another more than ever.

First, they lost their father. Drugs then invaded the family and addiction stole two siblings. A sister and a young nephew were murdered in a domestic violence incident. Their mother was devastated; Rita’s lupus was an “added weight of her sorrow.”

After their mother died of colon cancer, Rita’s lupus took a turn for the worse.

“Did she even stand a chance?” Davis wrote in her journal.

“It just didn’t seem possible that she, someone so full of life, could die.”

Let’s start here: once you get past the prologue in “Love, Rita,” you may lose interest. Maybe.

Most of the stories that author Bridgett M. Davis shares are mildly interesting, nothing rare, mostly commonplace tales of growing up in the 1960s and ’70s with a sibling. There are a lot of these kinds of stories, and they tend to generally melt together. After about fifty pages of them, you might start to think about putting the book aside.

But don’t. Not quite yet.

In between those everyday tales, Davis occasionally writes about being an ailing Black woman in America, the incorrect assumptions made by doctors, the history of medical treatment for Black people (women in particular), attitudes, and mythologies. Those passages are now and then, interspersed, but worth scanning for.

This book is perhaps best for anyone with the patience for a slow-paced memoir, or anyone who loves a Black woman who’s ill or might be ill someday. If that’s you and you can read between the lines, then “Love, Rita” is a book to take in carefully.

Oakland Post

Posts by Oakland Post

Activism

Faces Around the Bay: Author Karen Lewis Took the ‘Detour to Straight Street’

“My life has been a roller-coaster with an unlimited ride wristband! I was raised in Berkeley during the time of Ron Dellums, the Black Panthers, and People’s Park. I was a Hippie kid, my Auntie cut off all our hair so we could wear the natural styles like her and Angela Davis.

Published

1 week ago

April 28, 2025

Oakland Post

Karen Lewis. Courtesy photo.

By Barbara Fluhrer

I met Karen Lewis on a park bench in Berkeley. She wrote her story on the spot.

I got married young, then ended up getting divorced, raising two boys into men. After my divorce, I had a stroke that left me blind and paralyzed. I was homeless, lost in a fog with blurred vision.

Jesus healed me! I now have two beautiful grandkids. At 61, this age and this stage, I am finally free indeed. Our Lord Jesus Christ saved my soul. I now know how to be still. I lay at his feet. I surrender and just rest. My life and every step on my path have already been ordered. So, I have learned in this life…it’s nice to be nice. No stressing, just blessings. Pray for the best and deal with the rest.

Nobody is perfect, so forgive quickly and love easily!”

Lewis’ book “Detour to Straight Street” is available on Amazon.

Oakland Post

Posts by Oakland Post

Activism

Golden State Warriors Program Is Inspiring Next Generation of Female Engineers

Breaking down barriers and biases that deter young girls from pursuing STEAM subjects is essential for creating a level playing field and ensuring equal opportunities for all. By challenging stereotypes and promoting a culture of inclusivity and diversity in STEAM fields, experts believe young girls can be empowered to pursue their interests and aspirations without limitations confidently. Encouraging mentorship, providing access to resources, and celebrating girls’ achievements in STEAM are all crucial steps in creating a supportive environment that fosters success.

Published

1 month ago

March 23, 2025

Oakland Post

Front Row: UC Berkeley Steel Bridge Team Back Row: Girls, Inc. Participants. Photo courtesy of the Golden State Warriors.

By Y’Anad Burrell

The Golden State Warriors and e-commerce giant Rakuten are joining forces to inspire the next generation of female engineers through Building STEAM Futures, part of The City Calls campaign.

Organizers say the initiative is founded on the idea that science, technology, engineering, arts, and mathematics (STEAM) are crucial fields for innovation and progress, and empowering young girls to pursue careers in these areas is more important than ever. Studies consistently show that girls are underrepresented in STEAM fields, resulting in a gender disparity that limits potential and hinders diversity.

On Saturday, March 8, International Women’s Day, the Warriors and Rakuten hosted 20 middle school girls from Girls Inc. of Alameda County at Chase Center’s Above the Rim for a hands-on bridge-building experience. The young girls from Girls, Inc. of Alameda County had an opportunity to design, build and test their own bridge prototypes and learn the fundamentals of bridge construction from the Engineering Alliance and the UC Berkeley Steel Bridge Team.

This STEAM experience for the girls followed the first session in January, where they took a behind-the-scenes tour of the Golden Gate Bridge, learning about its design and construction from industry experts. The City Calls campaign, tipped off with the unveiling the Warriors’ new bridge-themed City Edition jerseys and court design earlier this year.